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Desc:Australian Abe Lincoln, you're a dick.
Category:Educational, Horror
Tags:dinosaurs, creationism, ken ham, WTF Australia, were you thehhh?
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Comment count is 35
Could you imagine if American Abe Lincoln had an Aussie accent? He could have taken over the world!

5 stars for "were you thehhh?"
Well, my buddy Roy was there when Jesus died, so I know that's true...
I would think living in Australia would make you more sensitive to the ridiculousness of YEC, if only because it seems awfully unlikely that all of the marsupials got together and called dibs on it.
(after the flood, I mean)

Syd Midnight
Australian stupid conservative fundies are just like US stupid conservative fundies, except they don't have a problem with snake handlers. I'm sure they must have had a few snake handling congregations over the years but that would have been a self-correcting problem.

"And so the assassination of Archduke Francis Ferdinand was what they called the powderkeg that set off World War One."

"Excuse me, were you theahh?"
So teen wolf became a creationist douche?
The Bible claims ants have 4 legs, rabbits chew their cud, & that the Earth is flat & 4 cornered.

Sure you want to use it was a scientific reference book, Hammy?

Especially the Book of Job. It constantly amazes me creationists hold up the Job as evidence for their beliefs, when the Book of Job shows God tossing an innocent worshipper into Satan's hands to have his life ruined and family killed.

It's kind of like justifying being a vegetarian by saying "Well Hitler was a vegetarian you know. Do you really want to eat that hamburger now? Hmm?"

In Job, Yahweh exists outside of any human notion of fairness. Job is his creation and he can do what he pleases with him. It's not malice, but caprice. The other view of evil is the one Job's friends have: "Job must have deserved it," and they turn out to be wrong.

Pretty progressive, considering that many people still feel the opposite—despite a supposed familiarity with the Bible's message of redemption, the idea that "all men are created equal," or even (gasp!) modern biology. Take homosexuality. For many, it's morally neutral. For others, it's a test from god, or a punishment, or a decision to sin, or *something* that gives me license to tell you how to live your life. You can take the man out of the cave...

Job tells us that sometimes things just are what they are. Not only that, but bad things can happen to good people. "The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away." Christians get hung up on how Job had super-faith. Others get a cynical kick out of Yahweh doing stuff that looks evil. But IMO the big message is "shit happens, count your blessings instead of judging others" and we'd all be better off if people learned it.

Also, perhaps it doesn't need to be said, but this guy takes that line waaaay the hell out of context. It has to do with Job's right to question God, not the limits of knowledge.

Caminante Nocturno
This is all eventually going to boil down to creationists declaring that they are proud of their ignorance.

That is to say, if it hasn't happened already.
j lzrd / swift idiot
Well, kind of; not all creationists declare that they are proud of their ignorance, but anyone who claims to be proud of their ignorance is going to be a creationist.

It happened when that guy made mud in his backyard with a garden hose and put it on YouTube in support of flood geology.

Hey keep your kiwis to yourself.

Rev. Blackson Pollock
God always did get those perfect attendance prizes in school.

That's true, God's always been there.

Where do I write to ask him questions?
Ah, Ken Hamm. I watched hours of this guy's crap when the local Y had a series on creationism, so my jackboot atheist nerd friends and I could debate the fundies at the Q&A and at the diner afterwards.

Good times.
Religions brainwashing children is always the most evil stuff on here.
Wasn't there a video of a kid dying of rabies on here once?

This is a tremendously powerful argument, because if someone is making it they are basically giving rationality a wedgie. Where do you go from there?
Time Traveling Clown
If we go by that logic, then since I wasn't there when the World Trade Center was destroyed, does that mean it didn't happen?
Technically no, since we have eyewitness accounts that can be verified. As Ken Hamm would say, the Bible is an eyewitness account, therefore it did happen. But since dinosaurs millions of years ago were notoriously bad at keeping records, they didn't exist. Just ignore all that radiometric dated fossils stuff.

Knowledge actually is impossible in Australia.

Mind-blowing circular thought patterns abound with these people.

How do they know God has always been there? Were they always there to make sure?
Ken Ham is worse than Kent Hovind in a lot of ways. Hovind is a fraud and a liar, but his angle is using science (fakey, bullshit science, but science nonetheless) to try and prove creationism is real. Ham's thing is literally ignoring science pretty much altogether and saying you have to literally filter all of your life experiences through a voluntary blindness and only trust in the Bible, etc. The total sum total of his life's work is essentially "be willfully ignorant all of the time."

At least it's consistent. Hovind is apparently unafraid to read studies about radiometric dating and stuff, but instead of comprehending them he just mines them for quotes. And sometimes he doesn't find any so he just makes the quotes up.

0:56 is the precise moment at which I stopped having any problem with seeing this guy fall into a pit of spikes.
I never trust a man with a beard but no mustache.

And the next time some creationist idiot asks "Where you there?", tell them yes.
Tell them to ask God, he'll back you up.

Tell them your magic glowing stone proves it and turn on your cell phone.

I was there inferentially

In Australia, sinks drain backwards, hamburgers eat people, and Abraham Lincoln is revered for his lack of basic integrity.
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