"Dad, my development as an adolescent relies on my ability to question and process storyline content for myself!"

"GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

"For God so loved the world, that he gave it his only begotten son, long story short, he went through a lot of horrible crap, but it was worth it. For the world."

LATER!

"Do not love this world, for it is not from God, and it sucks and is horrible."

Oh sure, change your mind about the world AFTER you send your son to suffer horribly for it.

They named their dog "Whatever".

You know, Captain, every year of my life I grow more and more convinced that the wisest and the best is to fix our attention on the good and the beautiful....and not go see Night of the Blood Creeps 4.

Yay for "Focus on the Family," James Dobson's zombie army of Republican fear mongering.

And I really don't get why certain Christian sects (in this case, Baptists) have a problem with Barney the Dinosaur, who they liken to Satan because he's summoned via a chant*, yet don't get upset by a kid whose drawings come to life.

* he is Satan, but for entirely different reasons.

Then the parents took junior to see The Passion of the Christ.

I would take care mocking this show.

My friends and I spent a Saturday morning mocking an episode of this where the kids end up in a tornado that takes the power out and have to use the power of Jesus and friendship to make it through the night.

After our mockfest had ended there was suddenly an actual tornado warning and our power went out. Although instead of using the power of Jesus and friendship we just went to a bar that still had power and got smashed.

Still, pretty creepy.

This is unbearably terrible. I'm going to have to wait for EIT to put out its bite sized condensed version.

My mom made me watch this whole series when I was about 12. I had a couple sisters and a brother and we were always fighting, so she made us watch these thinking it would help us or something.

no stars for you.

That's the most boring, stupid, faggy Rube Goldberg device ever. GO TO YOUR ROOM!

I don't know how I could have so perfectly forgotten about this. There was a time when it was my little brother's absolute FAVORITE show ever; a friend of his had some tapes and he was always making us watch them.

God it was terrible.

Oh god, THIS. I was trying to remember the name of this so I could post it.

FACT: like 500 kids tried out for that role but were turned away because they "didn't look aryan enough"

I remember watching this when my foster siblings and I went to a temporary weekend foster home (my foster parents went to Mexico for a weekend) and it was at this huge house with this guy who lived by himself with his dog and did all sorts of shit with his church/church people, and would have these girls who sang for the church come practice singing and dancing at his house (this also happened while we were there). He had tons, TONS of Focus on the Family material, including videos of McGee and Me and damn near every VeggieTales VHS released. This was back in the late 90s or maybe 2000. I was 14 or 15 at the time

About six months later I came home from school and people from the foster agency and police were there and questioned us about our stay at his house, as he apparently was in custody for allegations of child molestation.

True story. =/

"I have the powers of a GOD! Time to get some jumbo paper and bring my crude drawings of women to LIFE!!"