The Ganados might have had their brains eaten by parasites, but even they knew there was no point in carrying around hatchets and pitchforks if they weren't going to use them.
Years of training, all culminating in the finest moment of this man's life. After realizing it's all downhill from here, he takes an entire bottle of xanex.
I suddenly realize that a lot of you are looking at this movie backwards -- you're seeing at it as a silly movie with a stunt guy using improbable moves in a filler scene, but in fact the movie was built around those moves. There is no stunt man standing in for the lead; the lead is Kurt Thomas, top US gymnast in the late 70s / early 80s, and this movie is an effort to cash in on his star power.