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Comment count is 60
al k duh - 2010-03-28

five stars for unfathomable evil.

TeenerTot - 2010-03-28

This confused me.

egglab - 2010-03-28

no more, funny dog comic!
destroy mass media!
destroy mass media!
destroy mass media!
destroy mass media!

freedoom - 2010-03-28

I don't get it, is this based on the comic strip or did they just take the name of the dog from the comic strip?

IrishWhiskey - 2010-03-28

How is it that a live-action CGI Marmaduke trailer was actually worse than my expectations? Let me count the ways...

Horrific mouth animation on expressionless animals: -50
Slapstick where straight man calls out main characters name: -5 Check
Female romantic interest calling out same name, only in a bemused manner: -5
Set-up/pan on scene of destruction: -10
Ethnic sidekick there for only jokes: -30
Self-aware joke that isn't funny: -10
Dated pop culture references: -15
Dated soundtrack consisting of cultural flotsam only used because of a word in the title: -20
Animals in clothes: -10
Toilet humor: -20
Bewitched style "impress the boss" plot: -20
Shoehorning in cliche high school popularity plot: -20
Blonde/Cheerleader jokes: -10
Antagonist in dark colors voiced by action star with no comedic skills: -15
"What I like about you": -50
Atrocious GCI action sequence: -40
Surfing/Skateboarding animal: -30
Pointless explaining of obvious joke: -15
Singer voiced only to sell unrelated songs on soundtrack: -20
Record scratch interrupting romantic moment: -30
Trying to sell an animal as sexy/romantic: -20
Industrial warehouse set B: -5
Dancing GCI animal scene: KILL IT WITH FIRE!


IrishWhiskey - 2010-03-28

Damn, I left out "Respectable actor you'd rather see doing something less degrading. Like German scat porn."

socialist_hentai - 2010-03-28

Stars for list.

Also: RIP William H. Macy.

Cleaner82 - 2010-03-28


Longshot- - 2010-03-29


Caminante Nocturno - 2010-03-31

Is there a more soulless song than what I like about you?

Jimmy Labatt - 2010-03-28



Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-03-28

He is laughing at you while he masturbates on a bed made entirely of money.

joelkazoo - 2010-03-28

Stars for ROUS (and for the just plain pure, unmitigated, actual-physical-pain-causing EVIL!).

Charles - 2010-03-28

Jesus mother christ in a cockhat. "Oh, another shitty movie for an unfunny, annoying, and vastly overrated comic strip," I thought. "Ho hum," I thought.
But this.

This is so much worse than I could possibly imagine.

I would rather pay to have my eyes scratched out by a fat, syphilitic hooker.

Zarathustra00 - 2010-03-28

This is fake isn't it? I mean if someone seriously pitched this idea they would get their nose rubbed in the reviews for the chipmunk and garfield cgi abortions, right?

Daddy Warcrimes - 2010-03-28

But they wouldn't feel it, since their noses are numb from snorting all the coke bought with the revenue of said films.

IrishWhiskey - 2010-03-28

No, they'd get their nose rubbed in the box office receipts for both movies. Which both made bank and came out with sequels.

Oh God... just imagine the Marmaduke sequel. "Marmaduke 2: Doggy Style". It'll probably be an even worse title. At my bleakest, I could never have some up with "Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel."

If Jaime Oilver and Michelle Obama are going to warn people about what were putting in kids stomachs, who's going to warn about what we're putting in their minds?

spikestoyiu - 2010-03-29

PRETTY sure the Chipmunk movies made a boatload of money.

raeshaldis - 2010-03-28

My boyfriend's reaction when we saw a commercial for this was one of utter and sincere horror/disbelief that concluded with "What the FUCK William H Macy?!"

eatenmyeyes - 2010-03-28

Sam Elliot...

GravidWithHate - 2010-03-29

Rule 1 is never go full retard. Rule 2 is never appear alongside a talking CGI animal.

Ask Cuba Gooding Jr. or Jerry 'O Connell about the dangers of that.

Braze - 2010-03-28

I think Owen Wilson needs to find a better therapist

nemeses9 - 2010-03-28

Dear god I knew this would be bad before I watched it but...wow.

It's like Satan himself directed it.

Camonk - 2010-03-28

William H Macy nooooooo

Scynne - 2010-03-28

Marmaduke is a kind of a jerk.

Aelric - 2010-03-28

You know, I realize that the stupid folks need movies too, and they need even stupider movies for their simply retarded children. That said, there are line not meant to be crossed. Even in theory. This is shit Carl Sagan warned about in the last episode of Cosmos.

delicatessen - 2010-03-28


memedumpster - 2010-03-28

This could very possibly be the worst movie of the 21st century. I don't think the technology exists yet to make a worse one and there's only 90 years left to develop it.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-03-28

No wonder he tried to kill himself.

AmericanAir - 2010-03-30

obviously, he's already dead

Chibisuke - 2010-03-28

How could anyone make this movie and not realise how bad it was? Or did they just do like George Lucas and watch the final cut and say "Fuck. There's really nothing we can do to fix this huh? Well shit. Just release it."

Frank Rizzo - 2010-03-28

I for one can not WAIT to watch this.

divinitycycle - 2010-03-28

This AND the Karate Kid re-make... Its gonna be a helluva year for movies!

Riskbreaker - 2010-03-28

Who watches these movies? Who enjoys them? Little kids and grannies? Another reason for never getting too old, or for having any kids.

uwoeh - 2010-03-28

Coming soon on a cross country airplane flight near you.

Nikon - 2010-03-28

Oh, a Wayans brother is involved. That explains a lot.

GiantAtomicFreak - 2010-03-28

I wonder if they only made a Dennis film because technology wasn't advanced enough to make a Marmaduke film back in the 90s.

erection reset by queer - 2010-03-28

Oooh shiiit

StanleyPain - 2010-03-28

WHy do so many filmmakers hate children so much?

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-03-29

I think it's more like "hey let's dumb them down as much as possible so they're bug their parents to buy our festering, rancid, moldy fuzz covered carcass of a film". The more stupid they watch the more they become desensitized to it.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-03-29


Misspelling attributed to reasons of righteous anger.

Old_Zircon - 2010-03-28

Top contender for this year's "The Hottie and the Nottie"

poorwill - 2010-03-28

Stars for the Son of Sam tag.


1394 - 2010-03-28

Can they make a movie worse than the comic?

Yes, yes they can.

Caminante Nocturno - 2010-03-29

If I ever meet someone who enjoys movies like this one, I will start hitting them and I will probably never stop.

duck&cover - 2010-03-29

I think they should make a movie about Mamelukes.

"Who massacred all these Christians? MAMELUKE!"

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-03-29

Now, who will clean this mess up Marmaluke! How many times have I told you, no genocide in the kitchen!


FABIO - 2010-03-29

Old Dogs was the announcement that William Macy had terminal cancer.

This is his funeral.

FABIO - 2010-03-29

Wild Hogs, not Old Dogs

BillLumbergh - 2010-03-29

needs the "why terrorists hate us" tag.

jyrque - 2010-03-29

Pure evil.

ADnova - 2010-03-29

Why is this?

ez - 2010-03-29

First Garfield, now Marmaduke. Have they done a Heathcliff yet? Somebody get Chevy Chase on the phone!

Hailey2006 - 2010-03-30

but what about a Caddallac Cats movie?

AmericanAir - 2010-03-30

Kind of a let-down it isn't in 3D.

Ironically, for me to see this movie I would have to be too stoned to buy the ticket


produce saliva
swallow said saliva
stand erect

pentheus - 2010-03-31

this will make more money than god.

five stars for hollywood making money of a shitty comic and tear stained neckbeards.

Aubrey McFate - 2010-04-01

I just can't get over how bad Marmaduke's CGI mouth is. It's the final insult.

Squeamish - 2010-04-03

Not a single smile pressed itself on my lips.

Not a single iota of amusement flickered in my being.


This is WRONG.

Yargle - 2010-04-07

I would watch this film if the Marmaduke Explained guy did an audio commentary for the entire film.

That guy - 2010-04-07

Oh poetv commentators, how can I buy you all pizza?

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