This kind of tactic is better than putting walls around everything, and foam on everything, and making rubber-floored big toys.

But it might be ever better if parents watched their kids, like fucking parents.

This is the 'Eraserhead' of our generation.

I want to see statistics, how many babies per year die because they fell in the pool.

"Wait, wtf? Mom?

*Splash*

Gurglefuckbitchhellshitsplurgegoddammit What the hell am i doing in the middle of this fucking ocean?!?

ok, right, shit, be cool man, remember your training: kick, twist, kick, twist, ok, righted, breathing cool.....

waaaah...! waaaaahhhh!.... (several PANICKED minutes of) Oh CHRIST!!! Dad, where the FUCK have you been, for shit man, how long were you going to let me hang there, I got water in my ears an' shit.... SHIT, my shit's all wet now.

DO NOT EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN, FUCK!

at first I was "lol", then I was D:

unfortunately the dog was not ISR trained and its waterlogged corpse had to be later removed from the drain pump

"ISR teaches infants to survive" seems like the worst title for a newspaper ever.
And its editors don't even put headlines to the articles!

I want a regular baby, not some freakily-precocious-in-water ISR baby.

So I suppose aspiration and panic never occur in ISR world then?

My superior child is immune to drowning, fellow parents!

Coming up: ISR teaches your infant how to survive in the jungle with only a 15 inch bowie knife and 50 feet of rope.

A boon to negligent parents everywhere.

Yeah but then later they get enrolled into swim team and then the coach is all "WHY THE HELL DO YOU KEEP ROLLING ONTO YOUR BACK?!" and they get kicked out.

Human babies know how to swim already, its only when they are kept out of water until they reach a certain age that they forget their instincts. I think they're just old enough to panic. Basically just let your baby swim around as an infant, their buoyant as fuck and built to survive. A pool shouldn't really be a danger.

My stars are for sundry.

As a woman, my stress level rose listening to that baby. Someone get that baby out of the water before it screeches some more!

1:56. I will not trust the life of my child to someone who does not know the difference between "breath" and "breathe". Typos cost lives, people.