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Comment count is 33
SolRo - 2010-06-17

Just fucking kill him aleady you super pussy!

Pillager - 2010-06-17

And then who'll be his arch nemesis?




C'mon, Superman's roster is a bit weak...

Candlejackv616 - 2010-06-17

I dunno Darkseid and Mongul have their moments, granted their both kind of sort of interchangeable...

Caminante Nocturno - 2010-06-17

It would be much, much crueler to let someone who had attained and lost godhood continue living as a human being than it would be to kill them.

CapnJesusHood - 2010-06-17

Batman joined the human chain after Superman. Why? What's the point? Isn't that sorta like standing next to the Krupp Bagger with a shovel all eager to help out?

Hooper_X - 2010-06-17

I like that Wonder Woman kind of gives him an "Are you kidding?" look when he does it, too.

Camonk - 2010-06-17

This is like the ONE situation where the Justice League isn't fucked without Batman. Unlike, say, every time they go to an alternate universe and leave THEIR Batman at home, and either screw everything up because they don't have a plan, or the new universe's Batman outwits them all. Or both.

Sundry - 2010-06-17

Maybe a few extra pounds of force would have made a difference. Like how even a wimp can contribute something to the total strenght of a rope pulling team.

Now, Green Lantern is the one who wasn't too smart about it.
Batman took a place at the end of the chain, but Green Lantern became the weakest link when he stood between characters with super strenght.

Hooper_X - 2010-06-18


Big Name Celebrity - 2010-06-21

Well, he didn't, and now you see the problem with having quotas in intergalactic peacekeeping forces.

Xenocide - 2010-06-17

Let me tell you something about The Flash. The Flash got his powers when he was struck by a bolt of lightning at the same moment he was doused with all sorts of experimental chemicals. You may think that's a pretty ridiculous coincidence. WELL IT ISN'T.

Why? Because The Flash is so fucking fast, that when he died, he went back in time, and he did this by running so fast that he BROKE TIME, and then he went back to the exact moment when he got his powers, and then he TURNED INTO the lightning bolt and struck HIMSELF, and gave HIMSELF HIS POWERS.

Radioactive spiders are for PANSIES.

(slams a huge stein on the bar)

Rape Van Winkle - 2010-06-17

Here's the million dollar question:

Did the radiation enable the spider to give it's powers to Peter Parker, or was it trying to pass its powers on, before the radiation killed it?

Xenocide - 2010-06-17

Much like my vast beard, the spider is too mysterious to ever truly know.

My theory: The spider was a wizard.

CharlesSmith - 2010-06-17

Having a much larger nerd penis than you two, I know the mysteries of Spiderman:

There's this spider totem thing called the Great Weaver. It gives spider powers to human occasionally (Peter Parker is not the only one, but he is the most powerful). When it does so, since it's an entity of old magic, it needs a symbolic act to transfer the powers. Peter being bitten by a radioactive spider didn't give him his powers, the act was like a conduit which allowed a crazy spider god to give him his powers.

The storyline where this came out was written by the dude who wrote Babylon 5.

Now ask me about the Thunderbolts.

Candlejackv616 - 2010-06-17

^Great storyline, too bad they fucked him all up with that silly Brand New Day shit.

Xenocide - 2010-06-17

What about the Thunderbolts? How many Babylon 5 episodes did they write?

Candlejackv616 - 2010-06-17

About most of the 4th season, and like 3 episodes in the 5th season.

SDAusmus - 2010-06-18

You're describing Barry Allen's origin. The Flash in JLU was Wally West, the former Kid Flash, who was also struck by a lightning bolt and doused in the same chemicals as Barry, but that lightning bolt might have been Barry again...

Big Name Celebrity - 2010-06-21

Nope, that was just a fucking weird coincidence.

WHO WANTS DESSERT - 2010-06-17

The Flash and Randroid Lex Luthor fucking ruled on this show, the one where they trade minds was the best:

"At least, I can find out The Flash's secret identity!


I have no idea who this guy is."

Hooper_X - 2010-06-17

That WAS a great episode.

"Luthor... you gonna wash your hands?"
"No. Because I'm evil!"

Redlof - 2010-06-17

I will give a million stars to anyone who can find this clip and post it.

Candlejackv616 - 2010-06-17

I guess you should make that check out to cinnamon imperialist:


This clip never fails to deliver.

Redlof - 2010-06-18

No the one dessert mentioned. I've searched youtube a million times to no avail.

lieutenant halfabeef - 2010-06-17

I'm sorry, but wouldn't something the mass of a fist moving at relativistic speeds like that have caused MASSIVE explosions when it collided with something else?

Camonk - 2010-06-17

Don't tell nobody

Bort - 2010-06-17

Speed Force. It's a catch-all explanation for why Wally's powers don't kill him from friction, impact, asphyxiation, or simply reaching escape velocity.

Chibisuke - 2010-06-17

He wasn't moving at relativistic speeds.

The circumference of the earth is 24,901 miles. Flash was striking luthor twice a second at the end there. Therefore, flash was moving at 49,802 miles a second.

Light travels at 186,000 miles per second. So Flash's maximum velocity is well below relativistic.

Redlof - 2010-06-17

The Flash is able to change the laws of relativity. That's his super power.

Caminante Nocturno - 2010-06-17

My all-time favorite Justice League episode is Flash and Substance.

Just putting that out there.

Hooper_X - 2010-06-18

The Greatest Story Never Told is a personal favorite.

Scattersane - 2010-06-17

The best part of this is the context within the series. Up until this point, Flash has apparently sucked. He has had little moments, but overall he has been chasing cars, tripping over shit, and generally being ineffective. The fans are gritting their teeth and bearing it.

Then this episode happens and the show is saying: "Oh, by the way, Flash is actually The Best One." It comes out of nowhere, and that makes it even better. And the fans get to wave those tension-clenched fists and roar exultantly.

Bort - 2010-06-17

It's not that the Flash was ineffective, so much as relatably fallible. But by this episode, it was looking very much like he was destined to die, and even Batman was getting protective of him.

So when Luthor / Brainiac has taken out the rest of the Justice League, and then is about to snuff the Flash just to be evil ... well, Wally stepped up nicely, I think.

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