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Comment count is 31
charmlessman - 2010-11-17

What's that Colton? You say he's got the whole world... in his hands? How EVER did you come UP with that??!


kamlem - 2010-11-17

EXCLUSIVE!: Sunday school songs proven to be accurate description of the Lord!


kamlem - 2010-11-17

Jinx, charmlessman. Lets wrassle those pinky fingers!


charmlessman - 2010-11-17

One two three four, I declare a pinky war!

URFF!! UFF!! IH-IH-IH!!


Old_Zircon - 2010-11-18

What is this shit? You fight with your thumbs, you pansies.


IrishWhiskey - 2010-11-17

See, I TOLD my parents we should have contacted CNN after my dream about Batman. But noooo. They just had to be skeptics. I could have had a book deal too!


IrishWhiskey - 2010-11-17

Also listen to him when he's describing Jesus and God. You'd think someone who actually witnessed the most incredible thing in all creation would sound a bit less bored and like he's remembering from a script.


Xenocide - 2010-11-17

Oh, that's just because after getting a taste of the incomprehensible ultimate perfection that is Heaven, coming back here to live a lifetime on this flawed, filthy planet is the worst fate imaginable. Having known that brief glimpse of rapturous joy which he can never recapture in this life makes his every moment on Earth worse than a thousand hells.

Up next on Fox and Friends: A little orphan girl who knew what it was like to have loving parents for one glorious hour between the adoption and the car crash. We'll condescend to her right after this!


rev.dinosaur - 2010-11-17

Notice how the he looks to his right when he calls up descriptions. Watch his father stare at him and actually fucking mouth the word 'young' at 3:00.

Somebody get this boy a balloon.


cognitivedissonance - 2010-11-18

Xenocide: I have had multiple religious leaders explain the life and mission of St. Paul to me like that, dead seriously.


Xenocide - 2010-11-17

I guess it's the least they can do to take the attention of that kid's last name. I'm not a mean person, but if I had a classmate named "Burpo" in first grade, I would have considered it a divine obligation to make fun of him constantly. You can't waste a chance like that. You just can't.


Udderdude - 2010-11-17

God is real, and he wants you to make fun of kids with goofy last names.


Smellvin - 2010-11-17

Heavily drugged child sees crazy shit: tonight at 11.


RockBolt - 2010-11-17

Crazy shit that perfectly matches imagery in indoctrinated story telling, AMAZING


chumbucket - 2010-11-17

I haven't bothered to watch the video but am 5 starring for the comments the precede mine.


Stopheles - 2010-11-17

When I was about 4, I had an impacted tooth that needed to be removed. While recovering from the laughing-gas, I was certain that I was rolling backwards on the wheels that had appeared in my back, and that Captain America was sitting with me in the dark room, keeping watch over me.

Please alert Fox News of this fact: CAPTAIN AMERICA IS REAL!!


dead_cat - 2010-11-18

When I was put under for an EGD, I saw shit. I saw a shimmering, translucently iridescent snake appear in front of me; it grew in size, putting on innumerable branches, and it's weird, barbed face drew close to mine, and I knew something of great importance was going to happen. And then I came to.

So somebody better alert Fox News that the Mayan Vision Serpent is fuckin' REAL.


SolRo - 2010-11-17

I went under for 5 surguries, I saw nothing, thus god doesn't exist.


phalsebob - 2010-11-17

God is 90,000 miles tall, and Jesus is a cross between the Marlboro Man and Hiler Jugend with a three trillon lumen smile.

Heaven is totally boss!


fermun - 2010-11-17

There is no voice more trustworthy than the voice of a feverish sedated child.


Stopheles - 2010-11-17

"ISSH THISH REAL LIFE?"


dancingshadow - 2010-11-17

So abortions go straight to heaven I guess.


Xenocide - 2010-11-17

Yeah, but it'll be the young version of those abortions.


Riskbreaker - 2010-11-17

Mental diseases and awful parents never had a better time to shine in america.


Sudan no1 - 2010-11-17

Jesus is a black man with blue eyes? How unusual.


Adramelech - 2010-11-17

This kid is scared out of his mind, glancing around the room and obviously reciting a script. Dad is terrifying and this whole thing is so depressing.


Grandmaster Funk - 2010-11-17

God is a huge man! He can fit the whole world into his hands. So, on the scale of the universe, he's still pretty tiny, but still. God!


memedumpster - 2010-11-18

Every week is institutionalized child abuse week.


Severian - 2010-11-18

I hate people.


Nyms Lives! - 2010-11-18

Once while under the influence of acid, weed, speed, and alcohol, I entered The Dreamtime.


PROOF!


Syd Midnight - 2010-11-19

Just wait until this kid discovers huffing


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