Chuck Norris disables ratings for his video because he's a thin-skinned douchebag who can't stand the thought that most people don't share his ill-informed, ridiculously-constructed view of society.

Chuck Norris doesn't cry human tears.



Because he's a sociopath.



WAKKA WAKKA

Judging by Chuck's disturbingly pale wife's total lack of emotion, I'm guessing she's doing it as a side effect of the truckload of pills she probably inhales all day long.

It's funny that a man with his beliefs is a continual example of our evolutionary relation to apes.

I doubt most of the people who, still, keep shouting the idiotic meme have ever even seen a movie with him on it. I know most of my friends still obsessed with this meme just know "he fought Bruce Lee once" and that's about it.

That always struck me as the weirdest thing about the whole Chuck Norris meme: at the height of it's popularity, Chuckie was probably most famous for Walker, Texas fuckin' Ranger, one of the shittiest things ever broadcast.

Norris never really had a blockbuster in his career. His highest grossing films was Missing in Action at 22 Mil. Hell even Seagal has had a big blockbuster with Under Siege. His career was mediocre, his meme was lame, and his political and religious proselytizing makes him more intolerable than ever.

I disagree, his political and religious proselytizing is the only thing that keeps him in my heart and mind. Come on man, he's an Evangelical, who's more entertaining to watch than them?

Without his nutter beliefs this man has:

~A series of movies where he's not quite Rambo.

~A movie where he's upstaged by a dog.

~A television series based off a movie where he gets buried alive in his truck and has to drunk drive his way out.

...Aaaand, what else? That's it? Maybe you could include the Expendables 2 where he has to constantly remind the audience that he is, in fact, the Lone Wolf (McQuade).

Seagal's penchant for robes and eastern flibbity floo is far more interesting.

And that fist is made of anuses.

That was my favorite part too.

Our Great President Ronald Reagan once said: "PLATITUDES PLATITUDES PLATITUDES AMERICA GREAT PLATITUDES"

He was an addle-brained retired actor who still had enough charm and geniality to distract the people from most, if not all the atrocities his administration carried out against them. What wouldn't a bunch of money-laundering plutocratic bigots love about a guy like that?

He also consulted heavily with astrologists. How do evangelicals feel about that?

He hosted infomercials and accused other actors of being commies. But he played a cowboy sometimes, so he was super awesomely qualified for the presidency.

Reagan's "government is the problem" ideology was seriously wrong, but compared to today's republicans he was a model of competence and integrity. Also, if Nixon ever comes back from the grave, I'm voting for him.