I am so high right now. Chance amphetamines. I don't know where I am and I spent three hours sitting in front of the frozen st croix, talking to it, addressing it as "river."

It's talking out its ass.

It has manboobs.

Shoot it, shoot it, SHOOT!

Listen to your mother! Don't play with your food!!

And then he made sweet tender love to his turkey puppet.

Then he cooked it and fed it to his family.