mouser  - 2013-04-12
Great for combover as well.
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sosage - 2013-04-12
Sabu swears by super glue and duct tape
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EvilHomer - 2013-04-12
Whatever works!
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STABFACE - 2013-04-12
Super Glue was approved for military use in Vietnam, but the regular household stuff can cause rashes and burns. Various companies make liquid bandages, which are basically super glue with some of the nastier chemicals removed.
Five for our fucked-up healthcare system.
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EvilHomer - 2013-04-12 It's still approved for military use, and as of '08 at least, it's included in the military's Combat Lifesaver curriculum. I don't know how common it is in the field anymore (I never met anyone who's gotten glued together myself) but apparently it works really damn well.
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STABFACE - 2013-04-12 Don't they have some crazy compound that made out of like, shrimp shells or something that will stop bleeding instantly? I feel like I read that somewhere....
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EvilHomer - 2013-04-12 Yes. They're called hemostatic agents, and they're fucking badass.
They typically come either as powders, which you can rub directly on wounds, or as bandages pre-soaked in clotting compounds. Shrimp is, IIRC, a major ingredient in them. If you're interested, I'm pretty sure you can buy them on the civilian market; Quick Clot was the big one when I was in, but anything marketed as a hemostatic agent should have a similar effect.
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Comeuppance - 2013-04-12
I buy, sell, use, sharpen, and work on a lot of pocket knives. Superglue is wonderful for wounds.
Don't use regular Gorilla Glue, though. I was drunk once and made that mistake. That shit foams like crazy, finds absolutely every crack and crevice, is difficult to clean out from the wound, and keeps the wound from closing.
Gorrilla Glue Superglue, in the little tubes, is fantastic. Some companies make medical-grade superglue with slightly different ingredients so it can be used in more serious wounds and on larger surface areas - it's way more expensive, though, and you're almost always going to be just fine with dollar store superglue.
If you're still in a condition where you can apply it onto yourself, chances are it'll be fine. If you need someone else's help, you probably need to go to a hospital.
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jangbones - 2013-04-12
step five - wear a hat
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cognitivedissonance - 2013-04-12
Not watching.
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memedumpster - 2013-04-12
Had this been in an actual hospital, kitty therapy would have been ,000 per session, and the banana would have been 50. The peach wine would have been at least 0,000, you know, to cover the poors.
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dairyqueenlatifah - 2013-04-12
Obamacare!
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Jet Bin Fever - 2013-04-14
In the very near future suturing will be unnecessary for all non-surgical wounds. It already is for most of them anyway.
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