Oh jesus CHRIST.

I would totally not watch this.

Please change Classic TV Clips to Crime, because this is just that.

This is what happens when you let Pierce Hawthorne in the focus group.

In the first minute we have one guy stealing all the punchlines to a joke that originally had two guys slinging the punchlines at each other.

I've tried watching this pilot so many times and I still can't make it beyond 3 minutes.

Okay, I'm going to go make my own Red Dwarf Pilot now. This has happened enough times that we all may as well take a shot at it. Red Dwarf Pilot can be the next big wave of fan films.

Thanks to Netflix I realize Red Dwarf is funniest when you're 14.

I saw an interview with Grant and/or Naylor, and the story, naturally, was that you had a bunch of Hollywood types who didn't get the appeal of the original show, and just assumed you could throw in stock American actors and make a shit-ton of money. But the actors knew it was garbage; the only part of the original American pilot that worked was Kryten, because Robert Llewelyn. And even when Grant and Naylor desperately tried to fix the script, their changes were all but ignored.

Part of the problem, Craig Charles observed, was that America doesn't have the stock types that England does: Rimmer is an aspiring officer and gentleman, Lister is a blue collar rugby fan, and that helps to frame them. In the American versions, Lister was "a handsome guy" and Rimmer was "a less handsome guy". Beyond the stock types is the fact that the writers made no effort to write material that the new actors could pull off. If you know your original "Red Dwarf" you recognize a lot of lines here that appeared in the British version, but just don't work here (like the "beehive hairdos" bit at 8:56 or so, originally from "Waiting for God").

The one thing that hypothetically made sense was redoing Cat as a warrior woman, in that they couldn't replicate British Cat, so they went in another direction. It was a stupid direction, but at least they acknowledged the problem and tried to do something about it.

Fuck this garbage.

01:14 "most of the crew was wiped out" *LAFFTRACK*

Shows just how much of a lack of a fuck everyone involved in this gave, down to the editors.