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I'm going to have nightmares tonight.
It had me at "try every mode until you find one that looks good."
We laugh, but this is basically how 90% of death metal/nu metal covers probably get made.
That is differently terrible from how I envisioned it would be.
Next up: How to record your metal album on MS Sound Recorder.
It's more how to use professional quality equipment to record your band that knows two power chords inside your acoustically terrible garage.