The evil force left with Lorraine Williams.

Who was, ironically, a Christian.

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Lorraine_Williams

Although, given how she wrecked the company, she embodies a lot of what I've come to expect from Christians when given any measure of power.

Or as some rockstar whose name I forget put it, "If backwards messages worked we'd have put 'Buy our albums' on every song."

Think this came up in a trial involving suicide and Judas Priest.

"Today, we're celebrating the birth of MY ANCIENT NEMESIS, WHO WILL EVENTUALLY DAMN ME IRREGARDLESS OF ANY ACTION I MIGHT TAKE, so I've arranged Shell gas gift cards for everyone and ALMOND ROCA AS A LITTLE TREAT."

This Satan is the Peter Cook Satan from "Bedazzled".

What happens when the damning hardware/software breaks down? Do they have in-house specialists to fix that for them, or do they call in the Geek Squad to help reboot their Satanic software? Are there technical colleges that give courses in fixing machines that infuse merchandise with Satan's power?

How far does Satan's reach go into the modern capitalist system, and how do fundamentalist Christians reconcile that with their unconditional love of the free market?

If the FTC found monster ghosts in my books and toys, could they be pulled off the market?

Exactly what sort of sins is industrial-scale factory damnation supposed to induce? Do I have to become a full-blown witch for Satan to break even? What if I just eat a lot of shrimp and use the wrong incense during my Passover sacrifice?

Who gets fired if D&D initially causes me to spit in the face of Christ's precious love gift, but then in His divine grace I repent and become a stronger Christian as a result?

D&D was created by God to test the faith of True Christians.

Unfortunately, the module was designed with a party of Level 15 Christians in mind, and you guys are all Level 4 and below, so I guess you're screwed.



God is a killer DM.

God: "The Goblin King takes over your country and uses it to buy LMFAO songs off iTunes. How do you respond?"
The People of Syria: "My Idealistic College Student retaliates with a catchy protest song."
God: "Your Idealistic College Student pulls out his banjo and starts a catchy chant. The people are inspired. It seems as though everything is going to work itself out after all. Suddenly, giant spikes grow out of the walls and instantly crush you. Your banjo is confiscated."