I think Jackie saw him raise the gun to his head and was trying to pull it away but when he managed to squeeze the trigger anyway she was SO MAD she started to crawl out the back seat until the secret service agent finally caught up with the car after having slipping off the rear bumper 100 yards back when his ice cream cone melted enough to make his shoe slip off the bumper (Dallas is hot, yo) and he reminded her that you shouldn't judge a person for a failing of courage and she was like, "Yeah, cool."

I'm not 100 per cent sure this isn't a parody. But SOMEONE probably believes it.

Me neither. I mean, "I'm not going to waste my time dealing with minor details..." is either the troll-giveaway or the indication of idiocy, and I'm not sure which. That fact, along with an acknowledgement of the rhetorical power of narrating/interpreting imagery (it DOES look a bit like the described scenario is occurring), was my main reason for helping vote this out of the hopper.