nah, it's a weighted fat suit like the martial arts guys wear in anime...he'll take it off when his democratic opponent evolves into a stronger form.

IT'S NO USE, X-MEN. NOTHING MOVES THE BLOB.

Chris Christie is the saddest alpha male in human history.

Can we shorten alpha male to phamale?

OMG, Chris Christie is the Kingpin!

Chris Christie! Remember, he's still the frontrunner for 2016!

I can't help but feel this whole thing is basically just an exasperation with Paul Ryan's inability to be anything other than a sneering baddie, 100% of the time. He'd absolutely steamroll his way into the White House if he didn't constantly and consistently remind us he'd punch a puppy just to make a point about why it's important to starve the poor. I mean, for God's sake man, have some pictures taken at a Dairy Queen with your children or something.

At least with Sarah Palin, she didn't pretend to like John McCain more than anybody else likes John McCain. John McCain was basically a method by which she could pay off her mortgage and catapult into a reality television series. We knew it, she knew it, everybody, up to and including John McCain knew it. Hence his sort of shrugging look of despair when he announced her as co-candidate. Not so for Paul Ryan, he actually believes the whole festspiel. Paul Ryan not only advertises that he would stab anybody beneath him without a second glance, but that he absolutely idolizes and slavishly fellates anybody above him on the pecking order, assuming they're not his self-declared ideological enemies.

As for Chris Christie, there's this whole thing where everybody that ISN'T a Republican likes him more than his own party, and at this point, Fox News isn't even hiding the fact that they won't give him the time of day even if he's flailing down a cliff, Charlie Chaplin style. And we'll get to 2016, and they'll all jump on the bandwagon, as they always do, proclaim him The True Hero Of Libertopia, and he'll lose, and be forgotten with the rest, a dessicated and moist pile of adipocere, which was once the prettiest whore at the Cattleman's Ball.

Paul Ryan comes off as a spineless worm, so more like a pro-wrestling sneering baddie than an actual sneering baddie. You have to be hopelessly tied to the right to actually support him.

I can't believe a sentence has begun with "At least with Sarah Palin,"

You can see her begin to protest, but she holds off while the producers are no doubt yelling in her ear. When she finally does talk, it's almost nonsensical.

God, that is the most apt summary of this malarkey

Girls are like fuckin' kryptonite, bro.

Feminazis stole his ice cream.

The foundation of modern conservatism is calling someone else a whiner for wanting basic human rights, then authoring a 75-page manifesto on how a three-cent Big Gulp tax is the end of liberty.