Old_Zircon - 2014-02-11
This is awful and deserves to be here but I don't get the Three Stooges reference in the description at all.
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Old_Zircon - 2014-02-11 Oh wait, they did that movie last year didn't they?
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themilkshark - 2014-02-11 Yep, and he was grotesquely unfunny.
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Hooker - 2014-02-11
It seems inconceivable that Roseanne and Married... with Children and their houses that looked like people lived in it ever made it onto TV.
I'm tempted to ask why TV producers think something so sterile, both in literal look and in overall tone, could actually survive. But then there's the absurdly popular Lorre shows, so whatever. I'll continue to not watch TV.
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Ranma X. - 2014-02-11
That was more laugh track than dialogue.
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The Mothership - 2014-02-11
Aggressively unfunny. 5 stars.
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Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-02-11
My dad was a closeted gay man to everyone but me, and we actually had this conversation, only without the laughtrack. And he initiated it, not me. And I was 9. And it involved a lot of crying and clutching the steering wheel in a Kroger parking lot.
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oddeye - 2014-02-11 That's a lot to put on a 9 year old but at the same time I can get where your father was coming from.
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Jack Dalton - 2014-02-11 In all seriousness--did that bring you closer to your dad, and/or was that secret a huge burden (especially that young!)?
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Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-02-11 I'm not gonna lie, being raised by a single mom and a gay dad was pretty much exactly as horrible and mind-warping as conservatives want you to believe. My father was fifteen kinds of gay: Raver Gay, Campy John Waters Gay, Neurotic Psychotherapy Enthusiast Gay, Depressed Southerner Haunted By His Past Gay, Madonna Gay, Glo-Stix Gay, AIDS Gay. As a kid, I saw way too much way too soon, but my dad, who openly told me the sole reason he had me was an unsuccessful attempt to cure his gayness, saw me as more of an unpaid therapist than a son.
His life story read like something you'd find an amateur screenwriter pecking away at from his seat at Caribou Coffee. Raised in an enormous family of abusive yet comically stereotypical hillbillies who apparently liked to shout FAGGOTS DESERVE TO DIE. GOOD THING I DON'T KNOW ANY at random times, he pulled himself out of poverty and became an engineer in Michigan. However, his childhood was very Traumatic and Deeply Affected His Development, as he liked to remind me every fifteen seconds, so whenever he'd say or do something horrible, which was frequent, he'd immediately blame his trauma and monologue about his Quest For Identity some more. Nobody knew how to make gay people less sympathetic than him.
My parents divorced when I was 3, but whenever he had me for the weekends there were so many goddamned glow sticks and costumes and leather boots and "Art" films and Amistan Maupin novels and erotic drag queen mix tapes and .jpegs of butts lying around it was like staying in a haunted apartment of cock. He usually tried to clean up, but I still found his stuff or overheard him talking about rimming a guy in the next room while I played whatever Genesis game he rented to keep me busy so he could cyber on AOL. I know what he was doing because he frequently forgot to close the windows.
So to answer your question, the latter.
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That guy - 2014-02-11 ...makin' memories.
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Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-02-12 RoUS: Funny story. A few weeks before he died we had an apocalyptic fight over just that. As a former Republican, my dad was prone to racist/classist outbursts, but as a Deeply Troubled Man Who's Just Hurting Inside, he would actually get into shouting matches with his target rather than ranting in private. (I first heard the word "nigger" while taking a nap in his car. I had no idea what it meant but Christ almighty I knew it was ugly.) (Also one time I was watching the Smurfs as a kid and Gargamel had Smurfette in the palm of his hand. My dad launched into an inexplicable murder fantasy where Gargamel tore off her arms and shoved the bleeding stumps down her sobbing throat. I was 7.)
So when I was 17, towards the end of my biweekly trips to his place, he went off on a particularly nasty tirade about how he wanted to be the Arab Hitler and march all of them--yes, even the babies, he snarled--into gas chambers. I told him enough, this is repulsive, why would anyone want to spend time with you, etc. And of course he immediately breaks down into simpering I'm In So Much Psychic Distress mode and literally, LITERALLY starts sucking his thumb. Because of all the psychology.
I lost it. I told him he was long past the point of sympathy, that he never took responsibility for his actions, that everything was a result of his Tragic Childhood, that he gave people no reason to like him, all of that. And for one serene moment a look washed over him that told me he actually listened. He paused for a moment, then quietly said "You're right. You're absolutely right. I do take too much responsibility for things I can't control." Then I flipped out, did a lone jumping jack of disbelief, and squawked "NO!!!!!! NO!!! OPPOSITE!!! I MEAN GET OFF THE FUCKING CROSS!!!!"
It was an uncomfortable weekend.
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Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-02-12 RoUS: Funny story. A few weeks before he died we had an apocalyptic fight over just that. As a former Republican, my dad was prone to racist/classist outbursts, but as a Deeply Troubled Man Who's Just Hurting Inside, he would actually get into shouting matches with his target rather than ranting in private. (I first heard the word "nigger" while taking a nap in his car. I had no idea what it meant but Christ almighty I knew it was ugly.) (Also one time I was watching the Smurfs as a kid and Gargamel had Smurfette in the palm of his hand. My dad launched into an inexplicable murder fantasy where Gargamel tore off her arms and shoved the bleeding stumps down her sobbing throat. I was 7.)
So when I was 17, towards the end of my biweekly trips to his place, he went off on a particularly nasty tirade about how he wanted to be the Arab Hitler and march all of them--yes, even the babies, he snarled--into gas chambers. I told him enough, this is repulsive, why would anyone want to spend time with you, etc. And of course he immediately breaks down into simpering I'm In So Much Psychic Distress mode and literally, LITERALLY starts sucking his thumb. Because of all the psychology.
I lost it. I told him he was long past the point of sympathy, that he never took responsibility for his actions, that everything was a result of his Tragic Childhood, that he gave people no reason to like him, all of that. And for one serene moment a look washed over him that told me he actually listened. He paused for a moment, then quietly said "You're right. You're absolutely right. I do take too much responsibility for things I can't control." Then I flipped out, did a lone jumping jack of disbelief, and squawked "NO!!!!!! NO!!! OPPOSITE!!! I MEAN GET OFF THE FUCKING CROSS!!!!"
It was an uncomfortable weekend.
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dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-02-11
It's depressing that this dude's career didn't die with Will & Grace.
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Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-02-12 When this first debuted I got really excited and then my excitement quickly faded as I realized that being gay and fairly sheltered I couldn't really relate to literally any aspect of that show. It's a cartoon essentially, and even though it had its moments I had to stop watching within the first season. And I was starved for anything that represented how I felt and who I was.
Frustrated Fag Hag and Gay Guy Who Never Has Sex was too long a title, I guess.
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Jet Bin Fever - 2014-02-17
LOL. HOW AWKWARD.
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