Xenu's lawyers are sadly monolingual.

Yes

I always used to go to operation clambake to read up on this shit, it fascinates me too. It's just so obviously a bunch of made up crap and yet people spend their lives following it.

On the other hand I'll also sit and watch Dota 2 matches from 2011 so I guess I'm pretty easy to entertain.

Bivalves, fresh for the shucking.

What's incredible is that a lot of the required courses have already been taken by most Scientologists. They did this once before when they were like "oops we made transcription errors" and made everyone re-take a bunch of bullshit. For tens of thousands of dollars.

oh. Great.

Oh yes. That's the cool thing about Scientology. Every time you think it's peaked, it somehow doubles down again on the crazy/fraudulent.

Thoughts like

1) This is bullshit
2) You want _how_ much?
3) Hey, that's my daughter!

etc, etc.

great examples!
where did those thoughts come from?
how can you stop them getting in?
how can you encourage your gut-brain godhood primetime activation?
all of these sci-fientology questions and more can be answered by simply imagineering the Truth!
but wait, there's more! our king gutbrain caesar has already creatophied all of the answers in these books that are a great answer to how you can make real money writing fiction for a niche audience!
wait ignore that last bit

I just want to know how I can inject my own gutbrains into 0:43's Bridge.

I'd rather know who composed that catchy tune the Scientology Band is playing!

It has an old-school MarioKart feel that really melts away the engrams.

I just went here

http://tonyortega.org/category/up-the-bridge/

and spent a ton of time starting with the oldest post and reading to the newest. It's a map of the rabbit hole. Scientology is basically run like an MMORPG, with new end game content trying to keep up with demand, most of it phoned in and self-referencing. That was a ride.

Let this playlist run, do not turn it off. Lady talks about saving the earth and wiping out an alien spaceship by turning its earth smashing rockets on itself.

One more excerpt from The Good Book.

On "Beingness"

"Space is not necessary to the beingness of a thetan when the thetan is above the tone level of 40.0 and can create space at will. He creates space to have beingness. At 40.0 space and beingness can be considered to be interchangeable. Beingness can exist without any energy or matter - which is to say, without time."

I was obsessed not with the tech nor the text but with the man and cult itself. The authorized bio is a total snooze but the real story is quite a hoot.

http://www.xenu.net/archive/books/bfm/authorno.htm

That's some industrial strength 100% wolf urine evil right there.

At least Crowley is poetic and deeply sardonic! Everything about Scientology is just garbled, science fiction Chinese Telephone stuff that Hubbard learned when he worked on Jack Parsons' moonchild working. Crowley took Parsons' money because he saw an out of his situation (and had cleverly situated a prophecy about a "rich man from the West" in the Book of the Law, which is BRILLIANT), but Hubbard took Parsons' money because that's all Hubbard could do. Both Crowley and Hubbard were con-artists, but Crowley's madness was built around a solid core of Cambridge theology and a genuine artistry, while Hubbard was just a hack pulp author.

When the playlist runs out, go back and manually click on the movies down in the lower right to see the ones you missed.

When you're sick of Hubbards droning nonsense, check out "Scientology Toastmaster Speech by Carla Moxon" for some 100% sincere insanity. God damn.