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Comment count is 32
Snakeweapon - 2014-10-06

To complete your quest, you must throw each of the mystic candles into the gaping maw of Behemoth.

Robin Kestrel - 2014-10-07

That was pre-patch... now you have to throw to the Ice Gingerbread candle to Behemoth and to Winter Candy Apple candle to Leviathan.

Throwing the two Peach Bellini candles to Ziz is not required, but it does give you an Achievement.

memedumpster - 2014-10-06

No wonder everyone is going to HTML5, these SWF files are getting bloated and user hostile.

I can't ask you to watch until 6:30 to get to the paunchline, but maaaaaan... by 9:00 it's a kaiju attack of entitlement and by 10:00 it's Godzilla radioactive breath attack of first world problems.

I watched it all, she says she wants us to see this.

Can we have candle rage week? That would be a great challenge.

jangbones - 2014-10-08

paunchline, good

TeenerTot - 2014-10-06

Tsk tsk tsk
sigh tsk tsk
tsk tsk tsk
tsk sigh
tsk tsk
tsk tsk tsk sigh
sigh tsk air quotes air quotes tsk tsk


spikestoyiu - 2014-10-06

*TSK* makes it sound more palatable somehow. The actual lip-smacking sound is LITERALLY about three thousand times more LITERALLY unbearable.

Scrimmjob - 2014-10-06

I live in the same area as this woman, and I'd say roughly 2 out of 3 single women my age are a part of this archetype. Can you believe I'm still available?

Hugo Gorilla - 2014-10-06

This is what happens when you give up on every dream you dared to have and let life smash you into a spiteful and bitter wreck of a human.

Binro the Heretic - 2014-10-06

She looks and acts like one of my coworkers.

The coworker is one of those women who were adorable and popular in high school but now after the passing of years and a couple of kids, she looks like any other middle-aged mom but still tries to talk and act like a teeny-bopper.

infinite zest - 2014-10-06

Arg. Take away 100 pounds or so and that's my ex-wife you're looking at. Right down to that green photo thing in the background. She's not from Appleton but grew up close by, and when she wasn't bitching to me about customers at the store she worked at bitching about how their special order hadn't come through, she was bitching about being a bitch because her special orders hadn't come in. In other words, I thought about her dad's head exploding the other week when the Seahawks destroyed the Packers.

infinite zest - 2014-10-06


misterbuns - 2014-10-06

w. jonhny simso1 second ago

I found all of these items on amazon.com in about six seconds. PS you are a terrifying drag queen. 

kingarthur - 2014-10-06

Oh, Johnny Simso, thou art hilarious.

kingarthur - 2014-10-06

Also, my girlfriend and I go into this store occasionally to buy hand sanitizer (it's like a bottle and cheap and smells nice and we use it when taking the dogs for walks and such) and I can't imagine having to deal with this. This store basically sells four items, granted, in a multitude of stenches, but I had no idea there were insane candle hoarders like this.

Also, the smell of pumpkin emanating from these stores this time of year is unbearable.

StanleyPain - 2014-10-06

As someone who has worked retail/customer service for over 10 years, this is giving me PTSD. I listened to the whole thing because I guess I'm used to it. Literally people will tell you dumb ass stories like this all the time. If you let them get it out, it usually defuses a situation and the person will realize what a shithead they are and they'll just go away or accept the lamest apology ever. But then you get people like this who will not let it go and have all kinds of weird psychological problems tied in with their addiction to consumerism and all they do is make this sort of thing their entire life.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-10-06

I own my own retail business and I've gotten to the point where I can't stand people anymore. The moment someone gets bitchy with me I just tell them to get the fuck out.

I used to have compassion but after five years of this shit it's gone. This landwhale is so much like people I deal with on a regular basis. This video encompasses modern American culture so depressingly well.

StanleyPain - 2014-10-06

I had a woman the other day who basically bitched at me for like 15 minutes that we didn't have a physical copy of some ancient Mickey Rooney movie and how this meant the store was basically going to lose out on millions of dollars of money from all the older people who want to watch shitty old Micky Rooney movies I guess.

Nominal - 2014-10-07

The order of nightmare customers, from bad to worst is:

College professors*
Women over 50
Combination of the above

* You have not witnessed customer entitlement until you've met tenured professors with connections to the president/dean. They're only a popped monocle away from being a real life version of rich buffoons out of a Marx Brothers movie.

The Mothership - 2014-10-15

I share all of the experiences and opinions in this thread so far except for DQL, I never owned my own retail business, just worked in many and also managed one (a whisky shop in Scotland, great gig, only retail work I miss doing). And I am now myself a college professor, although not one with connections, so I agree yet also disagree with you, Nominal.

Also I would add to your list of awful customers: American tourists abroad.

bluiker - 2014-10-06

Jen sounds like a real American hero.

boner - 2014-10-06

I can't imagine working in that store. The overwhelming stench gives me a headache within minutes.

Pope Caius - 2014-10-06

The appearance and voice of a woman who will scream at a ten-year-old for telling her obnoxious son to shut up.

Needtodestroy - 2014-10-06

"I came out tonight to buy candles and honestly I am feeling so attacked right now."

That guy - 2015-07-28

way to give yourself 5

jreid - 2014-10-06

Made it as far as the preload. I am a dude who is indeed not nearly bad enough.

Sudan no1 - 2014-10-06

She even has terrible taste in candle stank, smh

Yellow Lantern - 2014-10-07

Left it on in the background while I did other things; still barely tolerable.

Having said that, Would.

chumbucket - 2014-10-07

I LITERALLY had no idea.

Lef - 2014-10-07

why do these people exist?!

this really got me down. The comments don't ever tear hear a new one.
the related videos make me want to jump off the balcony.

5 for reminding me that I should have no hope for our culture.

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-10-07

I HAVE OPINIONS AND AM IMPORTANT. Oh shit, 360k views. Howwwwwww?

pyslexic dharmacist - 2014-10-08

Replace candles with Vicodin--or even Lipitor, for fuck's sake--and this is my job.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2018-10-06

Preload looks like Matt Lucas

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