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Desc:Finally released, and broken in some of the most amazing ways. They actually want for this!
Category:Video Games, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:Garbage, vidja games, if you only watch one part make it 2:15
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Comment count is 28
Cube - 2015-02-05

I think the video might be broken, too. I mean, who would make annoying fast jump cuts like that on purpose?

StanleyPain - 2015-02-05

I knew something was up when this hit Steam and immediately got shit reviews. Predictably, the developers are scrubbing the Steam discussion of most of the negative stuff and only keeping the threads by idiots defending the game. How this does not amount to some kind of criminal fraud, I have no idea, but it's kinda sad that Steam/Valve basically gives no shit that this is now the commonplace of their service.

blue vein steel - 2015-02-05

this game looks like shit and the reviewer in anoying, but in steam's defense, if you drop on a game without doing 5 minutes of internet first, it's kind of on you. Plus, for all it's issues, Steam is probably the best thing to happen to PC gaming since the dedicated GPU

infinite zest - 2015-02-05

Yeah.. it's kinda your fault, but if you were anything like me, Microprose's Pirates! was like the best thing ever and as far as I know there aren't a lot of Pirate-themed games out there. And that includes Assassin's Creed Black Flag. Sorry, but I really don't like that style of storytelling and would rather be immersed in a historical universe like Red Dead Redemption than that simulator bullshit that pulls you away. Like if I'm reading a book on a bus and someone talks to me, sure I'm removed from where my headspace was, but it'd be more akin to the author randomly interrupting their own book with various recipes and other things.. I don't think I would've bought this, since I'm on the fences about getting Black Flag (which is only 17 bucks used.. should I?) but the trailers made it look really cool.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2015-02-05

From what I hear, the pirate ship bits are the best part of the game.

It's still an AssCreed game, though.

infinite zest - 2015-02-05

Yeah and that was my favorite part of Pirates. From what I can tell, the battle(s?) in Black Flag are very choreographed and take away from the fun, but that was just someone telling me about it a few years ago. Pirate ship battles are fun.

RocketBlender - 2015-02-05

Black Flag is the one AC game I could say is really worth sinking your teeth into. The sea battles were fun (especially seizing forts), and I really never got any feeling of choreographed battles, at least not at sea.

It has your usual AC problems though, specifically the story jumping ahead at a few points leaving you wondering what the fuck just happened, but then you hop back on your ship and stop caring, so it's all good.

It also got bonus points because of how many times I blew my cover because I ran across an animal I really wanted to shoot or stealth kill for one reason or another.

RocketBlender - 2015-02-05

The one thing I really don't get about this game is the specific price tag. I've seen for a game or on steam most commonly, but never . I honestly wonder if they picked that price just so it would still be after the launch sale discount.

infinite zest - 2015-02-06

I think I'll get it (Black Flag, not this.) I've always played by "fugazi rules," meaning I probably won't go to a show if it's over 10 bucks, and probably not buy a game if it's over , or see a movie until it goes to the 2nd run theatres. That being said, I think they could have made a lot more money if they released this for 10-20 bucks, or just released it for free with in-game ads. And I feel for these guys; a friend of mine is stuck in development hell right now with his game and it really sucks when it's a small group of people and a venture that's bigger in scope than your typical Armorgames stuff. Like, I wanted to figure out who did the ending song in Red Dead Redemption, and I had to wait like FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES through the credits rolling the same as a film's.. that's how many people they had on that game.

infinite zest - 2015-02-06

Also speaking of glitches, I was playing RDR the other day and pushed a guy at the poker table and found myself at the top of the world for some reason, which really did suck because the autosave sucks so much that I loaded the wrong game because they're all based on chapter names I don't pay attention to and it accidentally deleted my attempt at a 100% completion run. I love that game but it's got it's problems too.

Simillion - 2015-02-05

-500000 stars for bro team, +2 stars for whatever the fuck this is

infinite zest - 2015-02-05

That's still 499998 stars in the hole.

Scrimmjob - 2015-02-05

It's too bad this game sucks so bad. I could go for a Sid Meier's Pirates style game, although this looks more like the Ass. Creed pirates game than it does the classic pirates, it's a genre of game where I haven't seen anything good in a long time.

EvilHomer - 2015-02-05

I too would love to see a new-fangled version of Pirates. They had that 3D Pirates remake like, what, ten years ago, and also Port Royale, which is OK if you're in the mood for Uncharted Waters minus the uncharted waters, but has far too much trading and nowhere near enough actual piracy (why not just play Anno if all you're going to do is distill rum and sell bales of cloth to Trinidad?). Other than those two titles, the pirate-game genre has had shit-all to show for itself since pretty much forever.

oddeye - 2015-02-05

the 3d remake was great

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2015-02-05

I have high enough hopes for the game "Sunless Sea" that I'm avoiding buying it until I have a LOT more free time.

I mean, you can eat your crew, so automatic thumbs up for that.

oddeye - 2015-02-05

Does it have a Pirates of Darkwater feel to it? My kickstarter to make a movie of it never got off the ground so a videogame with the same feel would be awesome

RocketBlender - 2015-02-05

Did you have a hand in the original, Oddeye? I only discovered it recently thanks to the girl I'm seeing, it was one of her favorite shows growing up. I have to admit, it's not bad when the parrot thing isn't whining, kinda has that old tabletop game feel to it.

EvilHomer - 2015-02-06

The 3D remake was indeed great. And Noi Jitat, RocketBlender! How did you miss PoDW?

oddeye - please cast Priya Rai as Tula. That is all.

FABIO - 2015-02-06

The problem with the 3D remake was that all the fights were only a challenge on the hardest difficulty, but once you turned the difficulty that high, the wind became absolutely crippling and your ship would be at a standstill more than half the time. Even with every single speed upgrade, sail upgrade, fastest ship, and choosing the navigation speciality at the start. Extremely frustrating traveling everywhere at a crawl. I was always looking for a mod that disabled or at least toned down the wind.

Bro team is ok.

Scrimmjob - 2015-02-06

FABIO is right, the last time I played that game, I had bested all of the great pirates within the first 2 years of my career, I of course chalked it up to me being awesome. Regardless of how difficult or easy, after you've gotten into about 6 sword fights (probably an hour of gameplay) you've seen every cinematic sword fight, kind of just prefer the oldschool dorks working each other over with rapier's.

EvilHomer - 2015-02-07

The sword-fighting was one of the least satisfying parts about the game; the duels in Pirates! were never particularly good, but there it is.

Speaking of the original, I played the NES version so much that I actually wore the battery out, so I couldn't save anymore. Then I *kept* playing it, and got to the point where I could IronMan a 100% King's Advisor run in a single afternoon's sitting. I also learned everything I've ever needed to know about Caribbean geography from that game. Go ahead. Ask me where Gran Granada is.

EvilHomer - 2015-02-05

Jump cuts.


I can't stand
jump cuts
they suck ass
and fart

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2015-02-05

Their only redeeming quality for these guys is that it means there's footage we won't have to endure.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-02-05


RocketBlender - 2015-02-05

I'll be the first to agree that Bro team is obnoxious as hell, but this was the only video I could that showcased just how many different bugs there were in a single video.

baleen - 2015-02-06

I just read about this game on Steam.
It is one of the worst reviewed games on there.

Caminante Nocturno - 2015-02-07

Bro Team rules.

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