I miss my cockatoo. These bird rants were the best.

cockatoo week! make it happen!

FUCKINGsomethingsomethingsomethingFUCKsomethingFUCKINGsomethingFUC KINGFUCKsomethingsomethingFUCK!

sounds like momma used to make

Fuckin' bastard.

I am convinced that my upstairs neighbours are squabbling cockatoos now.

That makes so much sense.

All he needs is a cigarette and a camo jacket and he'd fit right in down at the local gas station with all the other guys who hang out there.

So, I'm tendin' bar there at Ecklund and Swedlin's last Tuesday, and this little guy's drinkin' and he says, "So where can a guy find some action? I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake." And I says, "What kinda action?" and he says, "Woman action, what do I look like?" And I says, "Well, what do I look like? I don't arrange that kinda thing," and he says, "But I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake," and I says, "Well, this ain't that kinda place."

"Pebble has had approx 10 homes in just over 20 years of her life. So we don't know for sure where she learned it, but she came to us with it. It's obvious she heard it a lot somewhere along the line :( "

I want to get those shut up little man tapes and put them on repeat in a room with a cockatoo for 5 years and then surrender it to a shelter.