We HAVE one of those?!

And now you know! And also 5 stars for a horrendously evil man whose trying to be relevant.

Heh.. I didn't even watch end before I started commenting. I assume Mr. Cruz knows that tag refers to the end of politics, and the bullshit of a two party system. But you know what? This will election will be fun to watch. Plus I'm probably throwing away my vote with Bernie.. somebody tell me I'm not :(

Brian Harrod just stole your joke!

The Amazing Grace/ Gilligan's Island video really shows that he and all most of the other Republican presidential candidates should have become preachers.

Hey Cena, do you know of any offshore Coast Guard properties, which the government might be willing to sell, and which are far enough out to sea that I could turn it into my own SeaLand? There's a lighthouse going up for auction here on the Long Island Sound, but it's on a breakwater less than a mile offshore, so that's no good.

I think I do! West coast tho. Do you mind if I ask for you on Facebook?

There's also the abandoned lighthouse in Tillamook Oregon. Are you trying to find your soulmate or something?

No, I'm trying to start my own SeaLand. I want a bug-out plan in case the election comes down to this guy and WalMart.

I don't think they have anything that could qualify as a micronation.

Yeah, the US probably learned it's lesson from the UK. Apparently the Coast Guard is selling off a lot of lighthouses lately, but I doubt any of them will be legally annexable.

Homieclaus, American Samoans were just denied citizenship again, I bet if they complain a few more times you could make America an offer.

If Donald Trump becomes president, you could probably win it from him in a card game, or just take it because he wont know it exists.

Meme - American Samoa doesn't realize how good it's got it.

IZ- what is your Faceybook? I just got set up with a pseudonym account there myself, but I don't know how to use it, and do not wish to learn.

EH I probably shouldn't give my real name on here but POE has a FB which is closed but make an account and I think I can let you in or at least invite you.. I think it works that way?

Where's the PoEfb?

He is, by zero accounts ever, a nice guy. His smile is a groteque smirk, his colleagues despise him, he pursues lost cause after lost cause that are actively halting the political progress solely in the name of self-agrandizing grandstanding, and his entire constituency is racist grandmas.

Ted Cruz is the Platonic ideal of everything wrong with American politics. He actuvely refuses to do the fucking job we hired him for so he can pursue his hopeless, short-sighted, narcisstic personal ambitions. I literally cannot think of a more repugnant human being in politics than Ted Cruz.

He should play Mayor Quimby.

Mike Huckabee, Mitch McConnell.

there are like ten or twelve declared candidates that are even less electable than this guy, which is almost inconceivable

I keep seeing republicans insist that he is, perhaps, the smartest genius ever to run for president.

He is not electable. He never will be electable. Donald Trump is closer to the nomination than Ted Cruz. Who would support him? His party hates him and virtually everything he supports is a political dead end.

Yeah the simpsons has always been pretty left, anything Seth McFarlane or even South Park would make more sense for potential voters.

The Simpsons is pretty middle of the road, although it's been getting more left as the years wear on and the writing deteriorates- in classic Simpsons, you always had Bart and Lisa, Bob and Quimby, Bush and Clinton. Fair and balanced. Family Guy is definitely hard left, albeit on the offensive wing rather than the Liebermanian, and South Park is staunchly libertarian, which I guess might appeal to some of Ted Cruz's swing voters, but might alienate most of his core constituency.

Frankly, I think The Simpsons is his best bet, as the show is classic enough to appeal to both the old and yhr young (remember: he COULD be doing Flintstones impersonations!). Another good thing to try would be My Little Pony impressions. Think about it: MLP is wholesome, and has messages which Christians and cultural conservatives would appreciate, but it's also hip enough for hipsters, queer enough for the LGBT crowd, and appeals to voters age 18-45. It would be perfect!

He could maybe do a skit where he's Applejack, talking about the importance of hard-work and family.

Now I wanna see Chris Christie do this but with Steven Universe.

Yeah, Simpsons made fun of everybody but they had the most fun with the Republican party from what I can remember. Almost since the beginning they made fun of Fox and Murdoch. I never got a leftist vibe from Family Guy though, but I don't really watch it. Karl Rove and Rush Limbaugh have both provided their own voices but I don't think a right winger has ever appeared on The Simpsons, just portrayed, ironically by Harry Shearer most of the time. Although until fairly recently I really did think that H.W.and Barb provided their own voices in the Two Bad Neighbors episode.

The first couple of seasons of Family Guy were politically agnostic, but over the years it's become an almost painful self-parody, mostly through the words and deeds of Brian, Seth's self-insertion character. I should probably qualify my original statement, however: Family Guy is less "hard left" and more "hard Democrat" - Seth will bend whichever way the needs of The Party require him to, and I have a feeling that he'd just as soon stick Ralph Nader against the wall as Sarah Palin.

It amazes me anyone here thinks a strategy predicated on political stances that are unpopular, morally indefensible, and logisitically unworkable are somehow going to catapult Ted Cruz to the White House.

heh heh

Cuz it's Buzzfeed. Almost everything on that site seems to be _____ eats _____ for the first time. Oh Buzzfeed, to think I used to read you every day. Then again I used to be on 4chan too.