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Comment count is 47
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-08-03

God grant me the serentiy to not read the youtube comments
the courage to avoid the youtube comments
and the wisdom to know that I don't want to see the youtube comments.

Regardless of any of that, this is as delicious slice of crazy pie as I could wish for on this fine summer day..

Redford - 2015-08-03

This appears to be based on confederate law, in particular the part where slave inhabitants (which at the time were not called slaves) versus their non-slave masters.

So claiming you are a confederate slave 240 years after the dissolving of said union to escape a traffic charge violation because the internet has told you that you don't need a driver's license is a pretty bad idea, it seems.

Bort - 2015-08-03

I still think the deal with sovereign citizens is, they can't cope with the fact that individual liberties aren't absolute, and so they have invented whole new fictional bodies of law that grant them loopholes to absolute liberty.

The Articles of Confederation stopped being the law of the land in 1789. Perhaps she meant the Confederate Constitution? Not that it's any more applicable today, but it's at least more recent.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-08-03

How does someone memorize the Articles of Confederation without learning that they no longer apply?

dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-08-03

Actually this may be the first time I've ever seen the whole first page of Youtube comments being completely sane.

memedumpster - 2015-08-03

She sounds like a pirate parrot! "Article four free inhabitant SKWAAAAWK!"

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-08-03

She sounds like she needs to go princess jail.

Xenocide - 2015-08-03

Rodents, I want that Disney Princess Prison Movie script on my desk by five! And no, you can't make Mulan the lesbian, that's what everyone will be expecting!

Bus_Aint_Comin - 2015-08-04

i'd make mulan a futanari sub whore, that'll raise a few of the right eyebrows

Bort - 2015-08-03

Huh, she's white. Go figure.

Where's the happy black guy from that Target shoplifting video? I could have sworn happy black guys were mandatory equipment in squad cars by now. "Oooo-eeee, she a sov'rin citizen! She goin' to jail!"

Xenocide - 2015-08-03

If she were black her name would be a hashtag right now and this video would be a lot shorter and less funny.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-08-03






Xenocide - 2015-08-03

But she is OF THE EARTH. When the other Planeteers get here that cop is going to be in so much trouble.

Two Jar Slave - 2015-08-03

"Yes, but as long as you are in the sovereign states of... the United States..."

DAMN! And I was doing so well.

StanleyPain - 2015-08-03

Pseudolaw is a really fascinating topic. I've been reading up on it a lot over the last few years, off and on, and it is some choice crazy bullshit.

I mean, at it's root, all of this shit is basically just a money-making scam like New Age woo or Diet woo or whatever: X person claims they have information that will do Y for you (even though it obviously won't) and wants you to pay them for access to the info.

But it has the added layer of being based on so much weird misinterpretations of laws that even lay people would understand. There's a weird obsession with maritime law, as well, where these folks try to apply weird maritime standards (including some that are super old, like 19th century old) to normal courtrooms as if it nullifies the law or something, one of the most famous being that courtrooms with gold-fringed flags are not real courts because the fringe is for Naval flags only.

Another favorite is the claim that the US government outlawed people holding titles of nobility from basically being citizens (this was proposed in the 1800s as a "fuck the foreign aristocracy" thing but was never ratified into the constitution), which means that if a lawyer wants to fancy up his business card by putting in an "Esquire" or "..the 3rd" or something like that it means THEY ARE NOT AMERICANS AND CANNOT PRACTICE LAW.

Bort - 2015-08-03

Just imagine playing D&D with them, back when you were all teens.

memedumpster - 2015-08-03

"I rolled an 8 on my dodge."
"Sorry, Baflorgir the Skullfucker rolled a 16, you take damage."
"No, because you rolled a d20, whereas I rolled a D20, that's a different 20 with more authority than yours."
"Yeah..., anyway, you take 4d6-"

Rafiki - 2015-08-03

Avoid taxation with this one weird tip from a single lawyer.

StanleyPain - 2015-08-03

I am Drizzt of the family Do'urden as seeing as how I have spent more time on the Trackless Ocean than on land, I am immune to Faerun law.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-08-03

What I love the most about this is its predication on the idea that the entire U.S. legal system will grind to a halt so you can endlessly debate some minor bit of 18th-century trivia that you barely understand in the first place. I mean sure, judges know you're supposed to pull over for a cop when they flash their lights at you, but did you know the Constitution contains no references to cars at all? Therefore all traffic law is invalid.



chumbucket - 2015-08-03

The d&d analogy - all the stars.

TheOtherCapnS - 2015-08-04

If you say The Pledge of Allegiance backwards to a gold fringed flag you can do whatever you want. Fact.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-08-03


Yes, they do, stupid.

Crab Mentality - 2015-08-03

Needs Sovereign Citizen tag.

Potrod - 2015-08-03

I'm reading about this for the first time, and the best part of the wikipedia article is a quote from the US District Court for the Western District of Washington:

"Defendant [Kenneth Wayne Leaming] is apparently a member of a group loosely styled "sovereign citizens." The Court has deduced this from a number of Defendantís peculiar habits. First, like Mr. Leaming, sovereign citizens are fascinated by capitalization. They appear to believe that capitalizing names has some sort of legal effect. For example, Defendant writes that "the REGISTERED FACTS appearing in the above Paragraph evidence the uncontroverted and uncontrovertible FACTS that the SLAVERY SYSTEMS operated in the names UNITED STATES, United States, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, and United States of America . . . are terminated nunc pro tunc by public policy, U.C.C. 1-103 . . . ." (Def.ís Mandatory Jud. Not. at 2.) He appears to believe that by capitalizing "United States," he is referring to a different entity than the federal government. For better or for worse, itís the same country.
Second, sovereign citizens, like Mr. Leaming, love grandiose legalese. "COMES NOW, Kenneth Wayne, born free to the family Leaming, [date of birth redacted], constituent to The People of the State of Washington constituted 1878 and admitted to the union 22 February 1889 by Act of Congress, a Man, "State of Body" competent to be a witness and having First Hand Knowledge of The FACTS . . . ." (Def.ís Mandatory Jud. Not. at 1.)
Third, Defendant evinces, like all sovereign citizens, a belief that the federal government is not real and that he does not have to follow the law. Thus, Defendant argues that as a result of the "REGISTERED FACTS," the "states of body, persons, actors and other parties perpetuating the above captioned transaction(s) [i.e., the Court and prosecutors] are engaged . . . in acts of TREASON, and if unknowingly as victims of TREASON and FRAUD . . . ." (Def.ís Mandatory Jud. Not. at 2.)
The Court therefore feels some measure of responsibility to inform Defendant that all the fancy legal-sounding things he has read on the internet are make-believe......[38]"

That guy - 2015-08-03

I love this.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-08-03


StanleyPain - 2015-08-03

It's a genuine thing that a lot of these freeman-on-the-land types believe, that if you jazz up your legal jargon with RANDOM capitals and : symbols with -no apparent [reason] it INSTANTLY NULLIFIES ALL ESTABLISHED WESTERN LAW. WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE STANLEY PAIN YOU *THINK* WE ARE!! We are actually talking about {Stan=ley: Pain---)

Bus_Aint_Comin - 2015-08-04

IRS auditors HATE HIM for this 1 WEIRD TRICK

Mother_Puncher - 2015-08-03

I like how calm he was during her spewing insane nonsense.

Anagramother - 2015-08-04

Double down on this. This is sad how the cultural moment has us ready to lash out against police so much so that a lot of police must have to deal with this. If her warped logic were in the head of a larger man he might very well strike at the officer too. Complete respect for the officer's coolheadedness

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-08-04

>> This is sad how the cultural moment has us ready to lash out against police so much so that a lot of police must have to deal with this.

Dealing with crazy and upset people has always been a policeman's job. They should be trained and compensated as professionals. The "cultural moment" you refer to is what happens when police don't respond with the level of professionalism displayed by this officer. Of course, good cops doing good work doesn't make the news.

Prickly Pete - 2015-08-03

Well she screamed rape, therefor she must've been raped. I think the definition of rape in 2015 is saying you were raped.

Xenocide - 2015-08-03


That guy - 2015-08-03

Cops Going Their Own Way

15th - 2015-08-03

Pending case?

Nikon - 2015-08-04

If a woman feels she was raped then she was raped. The other facts do not matter. Rape does not require a rapist.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-08-03

This is just like that time Rosa Parks went crazy on some bemused policeman.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-08-03

Clearly she was raped, because she said she was raped, and to question the veracity of a rape claim is, in itself, rape, therefore even if the cop didn't rape her, I did.

Fucking rape culture.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-08-04

Why I avoided the you tube comments.

Rape is the only crime where the accuser is always suspect. Now, there are reasons why this happens other than misogyny, but misogyny finds an opportunity to assert itself here.

In our society, the legal burden of proof is on the accuser, and that's an important principle that I believe in, but we've had rapists actually uploading evidence of their crimes to the internet, and still people have blamed the victim.

And yet, false accusations do happen. This is a serious dilemma with serious consequences and no easy answers. No one believes that this woman was raped, so your shitty sarcasm is not only profoundly vulgar, it's completely unrelated to reality. You don't really have a point to make here. You're just pretending that you do. Have some fucking taste and dignity.

Caminante Nocturno - 2015-08-04

You wag that finger any harder, it's going to fall right off.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-08-04

Oh, I can wag harder, if the situation calls for it!

Xenocide - 2015-08-04

JHM, you've got some nerve derailing this thread with your valid points. Now no one will appreciate Latifah's beautiful recitation of a 4chan joke from 2007.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-08-04

Well, sometimes the regular horse just doesn't seem sufficient, and that's when I have to get up on my HIGH horse.

Return with me now, to those thrilling days of yesteryear! Hi Ho Silver!

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2015-08-04

I just realized that DQL was the person who said this:

>Actually this may be the first time I've ever seen the whole first page of Youtube comments being completely sane.

That explains a lot.

Caminante Nocturno - 2015-08-04

Sovereign citizens also believe that if you screech while being arrested, the birds are legally obligated to come save you.

oddeye - 2015-08-04

Punch Sovereign Faces, SOVEREIGN FACES.

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