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Comment count is 62
Cena_mark - 2015-11-03

5 Sexy Duck Cop, a very fitting name for this submission.

Scrimmjob - 2015-11-03

Good use of a "Horrors of Spider Island" tag as well.

EvilHomer - 2015-11-03

Sexy Wish-I-Didn't-Have-a-Duck Jerkop?

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-03

Thanks. I am ashamed to say I spent at least 5 minutes deciding how to submit this, and then it's like: Jesus. Jesus Christ Christian.

Dr Robot - 2015-11-03

For the return of Chris-Chan, but let's not overdo it to the point that old guards of the site start a backlash over his stardom.

That guy - 2015-11-03

When the war comes, I will have to side with the old guard. But for now I will remain merely disconcerted with CWC's existence.

EvilHomer - 2015-11-03

"5 C-Quarters first minute, 1 W-Quarter each additional"

That's one of the best things about the Sonichu fandom: for something that, on the surface, is so crappy and lazy, it's got so many wonderful little details, details that make its world spring to life.

EvilHomer - 2015-11-03

Sorry, not meant as a reply.

Dr Robot - 2015-11-03

Technically I am old guard, I think. I've been lurking here since at least 2006, but I used to read old Poe Red too. I had a different screen name too. I'm just not as quick witted as most of the people here. I'm as active as I can be in the hopper though.

And yeah, I'll quietly vote shit down in the hopper if it gets out of hand. We don't need daily updates on this guy.

oddeye - 2015-11-03

Alright, who is "Old Guard" and who isn't then? You've opened up a box that is not so easily closed. Dickhead.

I'd wager that it's not about the age of your account but more the age of your ideals.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-03

I'll stop submitting Chris-Chan videos when he stops being hilarious, much as Choco J will stop being a dick when he dies.

ashtar. - 2015-11-03

At this point, I think we're all "old guard."

Cena_mark - 2015-11-04

Every CWC video must be submitted and scrutanized.

That guy - 2015-11-04

The Old Guard is anyone who knows where the 'Edit Comment' button is.

Nikon - 2015-11-03

Oh god no

please no

American Standard - 2015-11-03

Just when my conscience gets back up to speed and I resolve I will stop laughing at Chris/tine-Chan because It Is Wrong, s/he goes and pulls this shit and I'm right back to gaping like a rube in the freak show tent.

Nikon - 2015-11-03

I don't think bullying Chris-chan is acceptable, but gawking is probably all right. Chris-chan has done some horrible things to other people and that made my sympathy for Chris-chan go away.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2015-11-03


kingarthur - 2015-11-03

A person desperately trying for any sense of human connection it can possibly make by basically stringing together what it thinks are useful key words and phrases and movements.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-03

*exposes shoulder, talks like elderly drunken antebellum socialite*

EvilHomer - 2015-11-03

In case you're wondering about the email address Christine mentions, here is the description from the original video:

"Only Email me at Anightinchristine@gmail.com, please. I personally look forward to meeting and getting better acquainted with the ladies who like me from the distance. AND Honesty is always a positive turn on for me, so please use your real name when emailing me; No anonymosity at all, please."

Cena_mark - 2015-11-03

Shit... Just when I thought he was wisening up he naively sets himself up for more trolling .

EvilHomer - 2015-11-03


But yes, that was my first thought, too. It's like 2009 all over again.

EvilHomer - 2015-11-03

I know this won't actually happen, but part of me is hoping that Chris really HAS wised up, and this video is part of some fiendishly clever plot to gather all his surviving trolls together into one place, and do away with them like he did Mao, Alec, and the rest.

Cena_mark - 2015-11-03

Trolls are like Jihadists. When defeated they go to paradise, only for the trolls its an Amish paradise.

EvilHomer - 2015-11-04

So is that retcon official? The Asperpedia 4 are not dead, but exiled to Amish Country? I was under the impression Chris abandoned his plans to make that official and provided the finished pages only as a "what if" scenario, but I guess Mao and Alec's appearance in Sonichu 11 confirms it as True and Honest...

Honestly, I'm sort of upset about all the retconning he's doing now. I hate to go all BLARMS here, but Alec and Mao aren't Amish, they're DEAD. :(

Cena_mark - 2015-11-04

Nope, its official. He went and fully colored the pages and added them to the end of Sonichu 10, just as he's no longer going to "cure" homosexuality. Then there's this page in the Christmas special that shows the Asperpedia 4 as Amish people exchanging gifts.

Miss Henson's 6th grade class - 2015-11-03

"Soup Hotels and You"?

Cena_mark - 2015-11-03

Chris didn't make this video. It was edited from a video he recently released. The joke is that the video represents a look into what CWCVille local access TV would look like. Soup Motels are what homeless shelters are called in CWCVille. Its from the comics.

EvilHomer - 2015-11-03

It's a reference to CWCville's famous "soup hotels": massive state-managed homeless shelters, where homeless people and refugees can live, in their own private rooms with their own private TVs, "free" of charge. They are one of the more blatant examples of CWCville's juche-socialist ideology, and are featured in "A Sonichu and Rosechu Christmas Story", Sonichu #10, and Sonichu #11.

EvilHomer - 2015-11-03


http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/Mailbag_18#Chris_on_murdering_wom en_in_fiction

EvilHomer - 2015-11-03

Oops, sorry, that second link should have been to the question below it.

Dr Robot - 2015-11-03

See, EvilHomer proves why I love this site and contribute as much as I can, but have been a committed lurker for years. What can I possibly add to that?

I love everyone here so much and don't comment cause I don't want you to tear me apart for sounding dumb. But it has to be said. Love all these comments.

Cena_mark - 2015-11-03

Don't be shy Dr. Robot. Since you've been lurking I doubt you've observed us ripping apart noobs, cause we don't do that.

Dr Robot - 2015-11-03

Dude they were really mean to you for years.

Cena_mark - 2015-11-03

That wasn't due to being a noob, it was because I endlessly spouted a regurgitated slime of libertarian conservative slime. Granted they're tougher on the conservaties, but they're up for a fair debate. I was just delivering the same ol' ignorant sputum, post after post, so they kept slamming it and slamming me. I didn't mind, I was there for a fight.

Doc Victor - 2015-11-03

the smartest man on POE is the man who speaks no words at all

Cena_mark - 2015-11-03

I guess so. Apparently all the lurkers have doctorates.

cognitivedissonance - 2015-11-03

I'm newer than Cena and they never ripped me apart.

Split me apart, yeah... but that was for fun.

EvilHomer - 2015-11-04

It's funny you say that, Doctor Robot, because I felt exactly the same way! I've been around since PoE-Red - I wanna say like 2003 or 2004 maybe - but with the exception of a half dozen forums or so ("Boomer the Dog" and "Sonic Passion", for example) I spent most of my time lurking. I've got a lot of social anxiety, and I stuck to lurking because I was intimidated by all the cool people on PoE, and I was worried if I spoke up, then I'd sound dumb. It took me awhile to get over that fear and my feelings of inadequacy. But then I realized something. I thought: hey, if I ever DO sound dumb, then that'd be funny. Right? So fuck it. Nobody here knows me IRL, I can be dumb all day and what are the rest of these jerks gonna do about it?

Later, I came to realize that everyone else here is dumb too, many of them just as dumb as me, and some of them far dumber. So as it turns out, there's nothing to worry about! Post away!

Cena - why did you call yourself a libertarian? I asked you this years back, because I'm a libertarian myself and we were often at odds on certain matters. If I remember correctly, you said that you weren't so much a libertarian as you were a hardcore conservative. I never saw much "libertarian" coming from you back in the day - aside from the fact that you were very open-minded, and always up for a debate. (which you still are!)

Cena_mark - 2015-11-04

I believed in the concepts of max individual liberty, or at least I felt like I did. Back then I was still in favor of drug legalization and gay marriage.

Dr Robot - 2015-11-04

You guys know there are other, smaller PoE microcosms where people actually observe the Prime Directive and mock you all here, right? Usually over group emails reminding friends to check back here as it's been a favorite site for years going all the way back to the original. They still cite Roachbud regularly as a bouncer. Cena_mark, there's a bunch of conservatives that read this site regularly but refuse to comment cause they were so mean to you and did eventually go after your personal life. Yes it was all kinda funny, but it discourages participation. And you guys have seen it as the 4chan jerkoffs have ruined YouTube, the greatest invention for people like us, who know how to just give views and save our comments for private.

The guy that uses this profile has been reading the original portal of evil since Clinton was in office and you banned him cause you thought he was someone else coming back, whoever had been most recently banned at the time, the one time he tried to engage the site and since he knew too much, was convicted as more than just a lurker and was banned. No way will he ever get involved for real again. He was too devastated when he lost PoeTV in the deal and couldn't use the hopper or find any of his saved and favorite videos. I know, cause he used to email us begging us to help him get videos out of the hopper and was always so proud when he did. After you banned him and he came back, he never told us about submissions again.

Somewhere along the line he got another account, in the shake up they forgot about the lesser "political prisoners". Just let him binge on PoE. Trust me he's got the same sense of humor as you, not the faggots in the forum. And don't make a big deal about this post, odds are good he'll never even know it was made unless you make a big deal out of it.

Cena_mark - 2015-11-04

What do you mean they went after my personal life? They just joked on me joining the Coast Guard, mainly as a means of shaming a libertarian turning to federal work to make it in this world.
It kind of irks me that conservatives were hiding in the shadows, while I was being trounced. Conservatives always proclaim to be the bravest of the brave and true American patriots.

Oscar Wildcat - 2015-11-04

So tell us more of these lurking Conservatives, Bot. Why do they hide in their Safe Space? Democrat proof windows, Liberal safe doors? We may call them pussies, but they can't hear us....

While it's bad form to judge someone by a name, you've got to figure in Cena's case that there's bound to be some suplexes and the occasional Foreign Object entering the ring from time to time. Chairs were thrown. Trash was spoken. Some epic set piece battles fought. This isn't the portal of rainbows and puppies, you know?

Thing is, Modern Age Cena has ample right to be annoyed. If there were others leaving him hang to dry, then what exactly was being defended?

EvilHomer - 2015-11-04

I stuck up for Cena a few times, because even when I disagreed with him (and I disagreed with him on at least 80% of the things he said), I always admired his fighting spirit, and I felt that he got the raw of the deal from his detractors, many of whom did indeed stoop to personal attacks (when they should have stuck to the issues). There were also a number of occasions when I thought I *should* jump in and help him out, but *did not* - oooh, because I was too tired, because I was lurking, because I was scared of being bullied myself, and because I was busy and didn't have the time to get in arguments over the internet (Cena's peak troll years coincided with the time I was in service). Honestly, I felt pretty terrible about that. I don't remember any *specific* examples of leaving him hanging out to dry, but I know it happened, and I have carried that guilt with me throughout the years.

I think that's one of the reasons why I like to white knight for CWC! Because Never Again - I do not want to sit idly by while another awesome human being gets cyber-bullied by a mob of intolerant trolls.

memedumpster - 2015-11-05

If we cared about being mocked, we wouldn't speak to each other.

Dammit, you secret conservatives need to jump in when I go after the Democrats, you're really letting me down. Me and Bort are basically the only opposition party that exists now. We need to start a rap group called the Gub'ment Override Posse and trademark it.

But let me get real here, G'OP(TM) style, if you prevent complete and utter douchenozzles from posting here, people like me, Gmork, baSolRoleen, Waugh, Jimmyboblahey, CenaMark, etc, wont go anywhere else online where we actually have a shot at improving as people through interaction with sane life forms. It's unethical to exile village idiots into the wilderness, just as much as it's unethical to exile yourselves into the wilderness because of ye idyots.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2015-11-03

This is gold. I take back everything I said. He's never going to quit is he?

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-05

(Superman is holding Chris-Chan's neck)


Chris-Chan: I'll never, err, ahh, I'll never (depressed sigh) stop

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-05

(Superman snaps Christian Chandler's neck)

Superman: Wow, I, uhh, I actually feel no remorse.

memedumpster - 2015-11-05

(Later that day in the Fortress of Solitude, Superman sits before a mirror and slowly applies eye shadow)

Superman : I am pretty, and I never died...

Oscar Wildcat - 2015-11-05

LOOK! Next to that Guy! Is it a Bird? Is it a Man?
No, it's SuperTran!

NewHeavenSockman - 2015-11-03

on one hand this is hilarious

on the other hand at this point him and the trolls feel so co-dependent on each other it's also pretty awkward

kingarthur - 2015-11-04

They really are. I think the only thing sadder than Christian is a person obsessed with tracking and mocking his every movement.

Adham Nu'man - 2015-11-03

I'm certain he's just our generation's Andy Kaufmann.

At least I hope he is.

themilkshark - 2015-11-03

You're insane

Cena_mark - 2015-11-04

What do you mean they went after my personal life? They just joked on me joining the Coast Guard, mainly as a means of shaming a libertarian turning to federal work to make it in this world.
It kind of irks me that conservatives were hiding in the shadows, while I was being trounced. Conservatives always proclaim to be the bravest of the brave and true American patriots.

memedumpster - 2015-11-05

Conservatives shoot their wounded! I kid, they usually don't. You can go to The American Conservative website and see a place left of poeTV (with the exception of Pat Buchanan and his groupies who hang out there). The huge joke is that they're never represented by their politicians either, and both parties have a pretty dumb voting base. Whatever started you off in life as a libertarian is what it is, but you would have had the same existential crisis as a liberal, a communist, or an anarchist. No political anything is what it is represented as, and we're all stuck sorting it out in our own brains. Eventually, we have to put the carts back behind the horse and say every political party is what we say it is, and that's a good reason to fight about it, instead of the labels and nonsense.

jangbones - 2015-11-06

this forum is more deranged than the video

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-07

(Superman grabs jangobones from behind)


jangobones: Chris-Chan fans are worse than him.

(Superman snaps jangobones' neck)

Superman: This is getting easier every time. Starting to feel good, actually.

jangbones - 2015-11-07


Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-11-22

yeah it sucks

pyslexic dharmacist - 2015-11-20

Wait, "fursona?" He's wearing a...never mind, I'm just going to pretend I didn't see that, or this video, especially the part where my brain attempted to sever my optic nerve, which doesn't need to be spoken of because we all agree it never actually happened.

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