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Comment count is 28
memedumpster - 2015-11-08

I almost submitted this. Was going to have a "never use film grain filters" tag. I really liked it. They did the "aliens talking with your own recut transmission" thing on Enterprise too. I hear Nintendo is going to make movies again. SMBII!

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2015-11-08

This is so well done it warrants a 'big-boy' critique.

cgi is great.
Yer-wans acting is simply awful.
The imagery and music they *didnt* copy from 2001 is pretty weak.
The cgi interspersed with face shots doesnt work for me. Is she piloting an x-wing or something?

What the hell is supposed to happen to Samus' body when she goes into ball mode?
Also I hate that Samus is this really archetypal looking blonde bombshell with a perfect bod (+ in the video constantly perfect hair and make-up)
I like the idea that Samus is a bounty hunter who just also happens to be a girl, you think she'd seem a bit more rugged what with trekking around all these alien caves and fighting space pirates. Also I thought she's only have one arm cus one of the arms on the suit is a gun.

That guy - 2015-11-08

The actress is fucking awful, and therefore the directing and story are awful. Her ear for dialogue is abominable. I'm glad she can suck a golf ball through a garden hose or whatever got her here.

I'm sorry, I tried. Yeah the VFX and score are good. I couldn't get through the first two minutes she's such a piece of shit.

Nikon - 2015-11-08

>I hate that Samus is this really archetypal
>looking blonde bombshell with a perfect bod

http://www.smashbros.com/images/character/zerosuit_samus/main. png

BiggerJ - 2015-11-08

The Morph Ball (and presumably the gun-arm thing) are advanced Chozo biotechnology. In one of the Prime games you can read a Space Pirate log about failed attempts to replicate the Morph Ball. Ick.

Simillion - 2015-11-08

It FEELS average because that actress is average. When you think about the plot -- how it is entirely a monologue for this one, central, really important character -- casting a sub-par actress is a huge mistake. They cast her because she looks like Samus' official art. For no other reason.

That they didn't take even a slight amount of effort to pursue how a normally silent protagonist might ACTUALLY sound and act if she were to talk, for the purpose of a good movie and not just a good image, is tremendously underwhelming.

EvilHomer - 2015-11-08

I was going to make a joke about how casting a pretty actress to play Samus is both offensive and sexist, but it seems that the rest of you beat me to the punch.

Instead, I will say this: Simillion and That Guy are correct, in that Samus' lack of acting skills detracts from the film. What they _should_ have done was get iJustine, or maybe Boxxy, to play the part of Samus.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2015-11-08

I think people here are misunderstanding me. I'm well aware of what Samus is supposed to look like canonically. I simply think its incredibly lame. I think I can recreate the character designers process..
Mario is a plumber, hes Italian, hes stocky, he wears overalls, has a moustache, he seems to suffer from some mental condition etc.
Samus is a gerl, she has awesome bewbs, end.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2015-11-08

ps. I *fucking hate* that all this sjw/gamergate style shit means one cant engage in proper discourse anywhere around this topic anymore.

infinite zest - 2015-11-08

Woah, when did Samus change her hair color from green to blonde?

-IZ from 1987 or so

chumbucket - 2015-11-08

Her acting.

infinite zest - 2015-11-08

The acting isn't that great but this is coming from someone who never knew until a few years ago that Samus was a girl and thought the Justin Bailey code was just to turn him into a girl so what do I know. So I don't know anything about Metroid but I do know that this was pretty to look at, and the acting is better than Pacific Rim, so there's that too!

Old_Zircon - 2015-11-08

I disagree about the score being god. The score i competent, but fantastically generic. Bethesda soundtrack level generic.

memedumpster - 2015-11-08

"What the hell is supposed to happen to Samus' body when she goes into ball mode?"

She's half Popple, she just tucks her head into her marsupial pouch on her back.

EvilHomer - 2015-11-08

That's not a reference I expected to see.

Nikon - 2015-11-08

This was really well done. The effects, backgrounds, and pacing were all excellent, and I enjoyed the nods to 60s and 70s sci-fi. The acting was a tad iffy but that didn't lessen my enjoyment.

StanleyPain - 2015-11-08

It's well made and pretty cool, in general. The rip off stuff is annoying though (notes from Alien, 2001, Iron Man, etc.) and all the James Horner-y rip off score.

Samus Aran wearing lipstick and mascara to go down to an alien is a bit dumb, but I guess they deserve some amount of credit for not using any excuse to have the actress strip down to her underwear and shove her boobs into the camera like they did in the last Metroid game.

Nikon - 2015-11-08

It's a setting with advanced technology. Maybe she has grooming nanomachines that set up her makeup and hair for her.

Rafiki - 2015-11-08

So Samus is a valley girl with vocal FRYYYYYYYYYY. Let's whirl that debate up again.

This was just awful, though. The actress is terrible, and I likewise blame the director for probably giving her shitty direction. The portrayal of Samus completely lacks any sign of confidence. It's like watching a scared college student wander through the dark in a horror movie, instead of a seasoned bounty hunter that's been through some shit. Also, every shot of her inside the suit looked less like someone walking around in a suit and more like watching someone try to pilot a robot suit.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2015-11-08

btw Jessica Chobot (the actress) is the hot babe IGN got to host news videos for their vile readership, until they upgraded to a newer hotter model.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2015-11-08

She gained internet celebrity status apparently for licking a PSP :(

Nominal - 2015-11-08

I knew there was something familiar about her awfulness!

She's also the person who told her fans to start a campaign to get her into Mass Effect 2, where she played herself right down to likeness, profession, and sense of self importance.

I also couldn't make it more than 2 minutes :(

StanleyPain - 2015-11-08

Did she actually get into the game? I assume no since i played the shit out of ME2 and don't remember her as anyone special.

FABIO - 2015-11-08

Wasn't she the reporter that tagged along the ship?

SolRo - 2015-11-09

The reporter you could sucker punch?

Two Jar Slave - 2015-11-08

Three stars for confident visuals and a great-sounding title. I couldn't get into it.

Tough American Bouncer - 2015-11-09

Guess how long it will take for Nintendo to file a copyright strike on this.

mouser - 2015-11-09

This could make a viable franchise.

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