baleen - 2016-04-10
A BBC studio office, London, 1958.
Programmes Director Humphries: Alright, gentlemen, it has come to our attention that there isn't enough humor being generated for our feminine audience. I want you chaps to sharpen your pencils and give our women something to distract them from the daily what have yous. Come now, we can't let the boys at Ealing beat us to the punch.
Nigel: Well sir, women do love hats.
Hugh: Nigel's right, sir, we could do a whip of a good sketch on hats that would go down a treat!
Humphries: I like the direction, but surely hats aren't in and of themselves enough to make women laugh. We'll stop here and sleep on it, unless there are other ideas presently?
Cecil: Sir, Mr. Humphries sir.
Humphries: Who said that?
Cecil: It was I sir, Cecil Templeton, your junior placement from Oxbridge, sir.
Humphries: It's about time you chimed in, Templeton. Come on now, what is it.
Cecil: Well sir... I was thinking... What if they were not hats, sir...
Nigel: Not hats? I beg your pardon?
Hugh: The very notion!
Cecil: Yes, sir, well, what if they were hats in the shapes of various cookery and articles of the feminine lifestyle, not normal hats in any regard. For instance, a hat that is worn on the head, but one that could be shaped as say...
Cecil bites his lip and furrows his brow.
Cecil: Let us say, a teapot?
There is a long silence. Hugh's pencil breaks.
Humphries: I think we've found our new Assistant Director of Women's Programming. Gentleman, you know what to do now. We'll have the scenario written by tomorrow evening. For now, I must bid good evening, as we're shooting a bikini picture with Eva Gabor, and I want to be there while she changes.
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