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Comment count is 35
Cena_mark - 2016-12-21

I've looked into this, it seems that he's been fired.

Binro the Heretic - 2016-12-21

I would hope that's the very LEAST that's happened to him.

Is he in jail?

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2016-12-21

Why isnt public masturbation legal and regarded as totally fine?
It seems very odd that it is not just a taboo but also a crime.

By engaging in public masturbation you're not harming or interfering with anyone else. Obviously other people will probably be offended and grossed out, but people can be offended by anything + hideously obese people on mobility scooters are gross.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2016-12-21

Noise pollution ought to be treated as a more serious offence. Its invasive and you cannot avoid it. A dog barking or party late at night on a workday can ruin your sleep and be extremely detrimental.
If youre grossed out by something you can just not look.

Cena_mark - 2016-12-21

I really hope he isn't arrested for this. If he were arrested he'd likely be labeled a sex offender and have his whole life ruined. The kid looks like he's barely over 18, just a dumb kid. The whole sex offender thing is fucked up. It puts people arrested for urinating in public in the same basket as rapists and child molesters.

Old_Zircon - 2016-12-21

Just going to leave this here.


magnesium - 2016-12-21

I don't know what this guy's deal is, but public masturbation is often done specifically for the purpose of intimidation/harassment (particularly in situations where the other person can't leave, like in a moving vehicle, or directed at children) and people who do it have a tendency to escalate after discovering how easy it is to push boundaries like this. Guarantee every guy that started jerking in public and moved up to groping had at least one guy in his corner insisting he was harmless.

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-12-21

I had this happen to a partner many years ago while we were riding the subway. I said, "Just follow my lead" and turned, pointed at the offender, and started laughing. That focused everyone's attention on the offending member and had a similar effect to pouring salt on a slug.

If it happens to you, Mags, now you know what to do. The worst thing you can do is ignore it. You're absolutely right in your analysis, he's pushing a boundary, and you need to push back hard immediately.

Cena_mark - 2016-12-21

I understand what you're getting at, Magnesium, but this kid seems to be paranoid that some one might be watching. The creepers you're talking about want their victims to see him. I think he's just thinking that no one is noticing. He holds his wrist the way he does like he's at ease thinking it's just a normal position to cover up his dirty deed. This combined with his age just leads to me think he's just a super horny dude who just couldn't wait.

Cena_mark - 2016-12-21

There was a kid in my high school who always wore sweatpants and would play pocket pool in class. He didn't seem to be targeting anyone, he just didn't have the patience to wait until he got home.

Lord_Crocodilicus - 2016-12-21

The truth is he got a boner from staring at those nice young ladies all afternoon, but couldn't leave because it was his job to stay there. He was just embarrassed of having a hard on in front of all those people and rather than wait it out, he chose the nuclear option and got busted.

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-12-21

You are the prole whisperer, Croc. Wish I hadn't shot my own load, you'll have to make do with these *****

Old_Zircon - 2016-12-21

Regardless of whether this guy is pushing boundaries or simply has issues with compulsion and self control, it's a psychological issue and if you think that the criminal justice system's role should be harm reduction (for individuals and society at large) then please explain how locking this guy up to be beaten and raped routinely for a few years before releasing him into a society where he is legally and socially a nonperson for the rest of his life-under-surveillance is going to help society or individuals.

Old_Zircon - 2016-12-21

Being fired is of course 100% appropriate.

kingarthur - 2016-12-21

He should have totally been fired. Glad that he was.

He shouldn't have to register as a sex offender yet. But a week or a month in jail won't fucking hurt him.

This happened to my ex at a gym full of women and the guy who did it, in full view of all the women and staring them down at the same time, was merely let go with a warning. Guy should have been fucking hit a few times.

Potrod - 2016-12-21

I agree that a lengthy prison sentence or registering as a sex offender would do far more harm than good, but I can't believe we actually have to explain why jerking off in public is frowned upon and not "totally fine." Or did I just fall for some EH-style devil's advocacy?

Cena_mark - 2016-12-21

No one is saying his act is "fine" it's just some of us see him as just a kid with no self control while others see a more malicious side to his act. I don't think he's intending to harass anyone. I think he's just trying to get his business done without anyone noticing. I could be wrong, we should keep up with this, as there's sure to be a deeper investigation.

Potrod - 2016-12-21

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. wondered why it wasn't "totally fine." I agree with pretty much everyone else. I don't guess at his motives, but, yeah--don't do that.

Lord_Crocodilicus - 2016-12-22

Okay, well what do we do with someone like this?
Is there ANY uniform law that could ever be applied to this fairly? Does the context matter that much once you're literally wanking in front of an NFL crowd? Some would say that's the "big time" of public masturbation.
This guy could be a pro for all we know.

Robin Kestrel - 2016-12-21

Is this sort of thing frowned upon?

TeenerTot - 2016-12-21

What's the end game here? He jizzes in his pants? Stupid. He gets himself worked up for nothing? Pointless.

gravelstudios - 2016-12-21

He'll just say he spilled his mayonnaise.

...Actually, he probably hasn't thought that far ahead.

Old_Zircon - 2016-12-21

What, no "pocket billiards" tag?

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2016-12-21

When you gotta rub one out you gotta rub one out!

chumbucket - 2016-12-21

This! I mean, really dude? You have such a crappy memory/imagination to keep a useful spank bank that you have to get it all done right then and there on the spot? Why isn't this yet an Adult Swim cartoon character yet? "Spanky"?

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2016-12-21

Why is he holding his wrist with his other hand?

My theory is that the masturbating hand has been possessed by a demon*. He his fighting it off with his other hand but, doing so subtly in order to quell the demon hand without drawing undue attention to the issue.
God bless him!

*Batin' is evil, cus bible.

15th - 2016-12-21

What a compliment!

Rafiki - 2016-12-21

Come on, Lenny, leave the nice girls alone and go play with your mouse.

Oscar Wildcat - 2016-12-21

The proper response to half naked girls dancing and flashing their panties at you is respectful and sober acknowledgement of their athletic accomplishments.

That guy - 2016-12-21


When I was in high school I couldn't understand why no one though cheerleading was . . . like . . . naked lunch or weird or manifest sexual display or something.

Raggamuffin - 2016-12-21

I like to think there is some middle ground between respectful cricket-fan stoicism and openly jerking off.

Maggot Brain - 2016-12-21

This is why Chargers are leaving San Diego.

Meerkat - 2016-12-21

That reminds me, I should go watch Keith Olbermann's latest video.

Cena_mark - 2016-12-21

I really hated him when I was a conservative. Now I just look upon him with pity.

Doc Victor - 2016-12-22

Lest we forget


The struggle continues.

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