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Comment count is 41
Oscar Wildcat - 2017-05-05

Brought to you by the NRA: we kill with our hearts!

fedex - 2017-05-05

that train IS fucking crazy

fedex - 2017-05-05

oops that was for louddetective

Simillion - 2017-05-05

Boy with a gun

The movie

Gmork - 2017-05-05

Preparing for immense disappointment.

Also, changing the main character's race eliminates a lot of great tension and scenes between Roland and Odetta. What kind of dynamic between Roland and Odetta will even exist? Will Odetta be white, so she can still be racist towards him? Are they skirting the racism issue entirely in the movie? Because they sure as hell know how to trigger all the racist alt-right people who are now already bashing the living shit out of it. Kind of ruins the point of changing the dynamic of their relationship to a non racist one if you're going to basically paint a target on yourself for all the assholes of the world to see by changing the main character's race. I'm just saying if that was the reason they made that decision, they simply replaced one perceived problem for another.

Not like the makers of this movie should base ANYTHING on public opinion - that's the fastest way to ruin a piece of art - that wasn't my point.

The character of Odetta in the books is a crazy caricature of your stereotypical 60's black power member that only Stephen King could make. That's not a compliment to his writing style. I like King, but he's one of the most notoriously inorganic dialogue writers who has ever lived, and he's attempting to speak through the voice of a character completely out of his depth of understanding.

The way he makes her speak is such an exaggeration that if it were translated to film, I could easily see it it coming across like the character was an intentionally racist stereotype. Not racist as in Odetta doesn't like white people, but racist in the sense that she is on the level of blackface in terms of offensive portrayals.

As cool as the idea sounds, this series really shouldn't exist in a cinematic format. It's got a lot of things that wont translate - so anyone who's read the books will basically almost be guaranteed some disappointment.

I dunno. I'll still watch it, out of curiosity as to how the fuck they're even going to approach this... task.

exy - 2017-05-05

You've done a good job of explaining why they should make Roland black.

garcet71283 - 2017-05-05

Because Idris Elba, that's why.

cognitivedissonance - 2017-05-06

Considering King's track record with films either a) being better then they deserve to be because a director removes him from the creative process entirely or b) King getting in there and making a righteous shit bolus due to his consistent meddling, the less he has to do with it on a brass tacks basis, the better.

Old_Zircon - 2017-05-06

You're probably right but Maximum Overdrive is still my favorite Stephen King adaptation.

cognitivedissonance - 2017-05-06

Maximum Overdrive only works because it was written as a screenplay. If it was based on a 500 page long tome, you'd have to dance around the scene where Pennywise is burning down Halloran's nightclub, which is great in a novel but completely irrelevant to a movie.

Louddetective - 2017-05-05

Five for turning a really bizarre series that I lost interest in after four or five books into a really, really generic-looking action movie. Where the lobstrosities at?

Joking aside, I do wish it had been a whole series like the first book. Granted this was probably ten years ago or more that I read it, but I remember digging that one a lot, and then they just spiraled out of control after that. I think I gave up after the joke contest with the sentient train.

infinite zest - 2017-05-05

Yeah this has a sort of Never-ending Story or Princess Bride thing going on. Pass

poorwill - 2017-05-05

the train thing was one of the parts people talked about that made the books actually sound interesting. 'lord of the rings with cowboys' made me tune out, 'crazy demon train and weasel-headed people' made my ears prick up. so ymmv i guess.

Old_Zircon - 2017-05-05

I like Princess Bride and Neverending Story a lot but the difference here is that this wasn't made in the mid 80s and I'm not 10.

infinite zest - 2017-05-05

Oh I love Neverending Story and Princess Bride, but it's a different tone. And Time Bandits is one of my favorite movies but it did it too; basically a kid who is well aware that he or she walked through some portal or gate, and is fully aware of the differences between the worlds. It's been a while since I read any of them, but I re-read the Gunslinger every so often, and although the parallels are made between King's modern locations and events in our world, including King's own hit-and-run accident, or a Richard Bachman being mentioned in passing.. it's.. I dunno.. a lot more fringy and weird in its connections than this. Like for example, if you've read the Dark Tower you know that the number 19 is important. I won't give anything away but it makes for many of the connections completely autobiographical having to do with nothing but the age of the writer himself.. stuff like that. And I feel like someone like Noah Hawley could make the abstract work but this has Ron Howard plastered all over it, even though he's apparently backed out of doing anything more than producing the thing.

cognitivedissonance - 2017-05-06

I wish to God they'd remake Neverending Story and leave all the Crowley in.

Old_Zircon - 2017-05-06

I'll have to read the book again, I didn't notice any Crowley but that's probably because it was years before I'd read any Crowley.

Louddetective - 2017-05-17

I've never read Neverending Story but was not aware it had a bunch of Crowley in it??

casualcollapse - 2020-07-18

The crazy suicidal train was the best part

poorwill - 2017-05-05

should i read the books? what i've heard about sounds pleasantly bananas, but ... that's a lot of pages. not to mention that it ties into books that i haven't read. unless it ties into the tommyknockers. i've read that one for some reason.

Gmork - 2017-05-05

Books 1-3 or 1-4 maybe are the best. Probably 1-3. Much like Glen Cook's The Black Company, which goes on for 10 books.

Although, just like the Black Company, you'll be too invested not to finish the rest.

exy - 2017-05-05

Read a couple. Right around when you're getting really curious how it all ends (maybe thinking, "Not a bad world you're unfolding here, King!"), stop reading. Never pick them up again. That wonder shall surely exceed the payoff on offer. 100%

memedumpster - 2017-05-05

They range from cool to okay to bad. The Gunslinger, Drawing of the Three, and Wolves of the Calla were my favs. Calla is a cool enough western with robots and dimensional gateways story that I didn't notice the lack of violence until the end when the cheesiest gunfight ever happens.

Avoid the last book in the series, it is phoned in harder than the end of Lawnmower Man.

StanleyPain - 2017-05-05

The first three are really solid. A kind of weird, meditative fantasy totally out of character with most of King's novels. They're mostly character pieces with very little of the explosiony/bang bang/CGI weirdness present in this trailer (which doesn't remotely resemble the tone of the books at all). 4 starts to push the series into a more fantasy world dynamic with more weird shit and LOTR style complexity, which is not a bad thing, but from book 5 onwards I think King just had no idea where the take the series or how to end it. And then he pulled that nonsense of retconning several of his older books into the Flagg universe and attempting to create a unified world for most of his books that somehow connects to the Dark Tower and it just gets so pretentious and dumb.

It's entirely possible this movie might be good as a stand-alone adventure story, but it doesn't seem to be an adaptation of the series' core in any way whatsoever.

TheyUsedDarkForces - 2017-05-05

I think whether you should read the books depends entirely upon your tolerance for King doing his best Tolkien impression... and how much time you spend reading. If you read every night and can burn through books quickly, I'd say go for it. If it would take you a year to make it through all of them, I'd say that you could likely get a little more out of that time by reading other stuff.

Everyone above has valid criticisms. I read them all back to back and I was a little bored by the end of it all, but the world was weird enough to sustain me. There are some really cool fantasy moments and, as mentioned previously in here, a cool atmosphere. There is a lot of good stuff scattered through the series, but lots of content that feels like filler. I liked Roland well enough as a character, but I didn't really enjoy any of his companions. I've also read a good portion of King's other books, so the references were kind of entertaining.

If it contextualizes it, I really enjoyed The Black Company for similar reasons: interesting, violent, nightmare world and some creative monsters/villains, etc. I also read Dark Tower in the midst of a two year dark fantasy binge, so my tolerance was high at the time.

cognitivedissonance - 2017-05-06

It's like L. Ron Hubbard's fiction, only not actively trying to create a religion. There's a religion in there, but it's not something the grognards have put into practical application.


Old_Zircon - 2017-05-06

An old coworker of mine had a very compelling and well supported theory that Stephen King didn't write a single good book after he quit smoking cigarettes (around when Needful Things was in progress I think, definitely late 80s or early 90s), which pretty much lines up with when I completely gave up on him as a young fan although It was the first one I gave up on in the middle out of boredom) and the opinions on the Dark Tower series (I never really got in to them at all so I don't know firsthand) seem to support that.

The Mothership - 2017-05-05

Revolver fetishists must be loving this.

SolRo - 2017-05-05

Or typing 'realism' critiques so furiously and lengthy that they're bleeding from their fingers.

exy - 2017-05-05

FUN FACT: Tonight I (and by "I" I mean "my wife") pulled a tick out of my dick, right where the glans and shaft meet.

I am less squeamish about this movie than that memory, so that's something like an endorsement. Can't wait til the movie just throws out the part where they [SPOILER] go to SK's house. (And, Jesus, they'd really use SK for that too, huh. -- Nope, tick in a dick is starting to sound better.)

urbanelf - 2017-05-05

Buy Warriors at the Bazaar. Brigands are out there waiting for you.

Old_Zircon - 2017-05-05

I prefer the original cut:


BHWW - 2017-05-05

The first Dark Tower novel was readable. Though it was all portentous images and spookiness, i.e., it was more of a mood than a book. Once King had to make a plot, not just a nightmare world, the later books took a turn for the bizarre and arbitrary. I ended up not finishing the series because it rambles on without much structure and gets increasingly random, perhaps he was always making it up as he went along but it gets to the point that it's obvious.

I guess he's a victim of his own success in that no editor these days is going to tell him to stop writing and work out where he's going with a story before he cranks out 800 pages.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2017-05-05

The Dark Tower was an okay book (though I'd argue it was one of the least memorable King works). The Drawing of the Three bored me to tears and made me quit a quarter of the way through. It did have some rad illustrations in it though.

StanleyPain - 2017-05-05

As I understand it, this movie is sort of a scam/mismarketing. Apparently, it's not really an adaptation of the King books/universe, but rather some paired down, incredibly simplistic SyFy Channel level action movie with most of the characters and story cut-out that's supposed to take place AFTER the book series and King's cop-out, shitty ending that OMG TEH GUNSLINGER FORGOT EVERYTHING AND NOW THE WHOLE THING HAS TO LOOK FOR FLAGG AGAIN!
So, the excuse for this movie just being as dumb as it looks is that it's intended as some kind of reboot/sequel thing that takes place in a different time-frame or some shit AFTER the events of the books when time resets again or something like that.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2017-05-05

It appears you are spot on. There's already a follow-up TV series in production.

Hooker - 2017-05-05

I liked the part where it went slow motion and BRRRRRZZZOOOOOWWWWW when the guy was doing something totally sweet with his guns.

TheyUsedDarkForces - 2017-05-05

I'm just glad someone remembered to shoot a few blue lasers into the sky so that I know it's a fantasy/sci-fi/action movie...

kingarthur - 2017-05-07

I remember picking up one of the Dark Tower books from the library in high school, noticing it ha a cyborg bear with a radar antenna on its head in it, and immediately put it back. Later on, the dorkiest kid in school told me he loved the series.

I was convinced to never read it after that.

Nominal - 2017-12-20

I tried the first book. The only interesting things to it was the stuff it DIDN'T tell you. Why is the gunslinger following the man in black? What did he do? How did the world come to this? Where did the gunslinger come from?

Once those questions started getting answers it stopped being interesting. I lost interest and stopped reading when Roland meets the boy (in a very creepy scene) and they switched to modern New York.

I was more interested in "Ancient Rome with cowboy inquisition" introduced in the flashback. That would have made a better story.

casualcollapse - 2020-07-17

God this movie was fucking horrible I regret every posting this trailer here

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