So, a lonely mid-40s loser living in New York goes back to his home town to find people doing worse than him?

Well at least we can assume the handful of characters we don't see here made it out of Hennepin County to bigger and better things.

My short trip home was way less eventful.

I hope Sally isn't one of the bodies...

Using Cooper Black in a Peanuts parody is like making Hey Jude the opening track of a Rolling Stones hits collection.