Matrix was released on HBO streaming day one.

I watched about half of it last night and had three basic thoughts:
1. It's an interesting, meta take on the hopelessness of trying to catch old lightning in a new bottle (or as the movie put it, "Why would someone use old code to make something new?")

2. It's undercut by lazy, uneven storytelling and filmmaking. Maybe if you engage with it 100% as a punk-ass protest movie, you might get behind the laziness as part of Lana Wachowski's overall middle finger to Warner Bros, general audiences, and the legacy of The Matrix itself. But a lot of it is just not very well made or nice to look at.

3. Carrie-Anne Moss and Keanu are doing some good acting in this one. Keanu in particular reminds me of when JCVD made 'JCVD' and we were all like, huh! Woulja lookit that actor go!

Looking forward to finishing it. I've certainly enjoyed what I've seen so far -- especially its many interesting story ideas that are sort of crammed awkwardly into rapid-fire dialogue.

Wow, that third act seriously shit the bed huh.

I give it a six, a 5 is neutral a 4 is some time wasted, a 1 I would have turned off long before finishing.

Like they did with Highlander.

I'm not so sure. I rather liked how Matrix 2 & 3 confirmed my strong suspicion that the philosophy in Matrix 1 was half-baked nonsense.... even if you grant Matrix 1 the most charitable interpretation possible.

Besides, the highway chase scene in Matrix 2 (the one with the ghosts) was genuinely wonderful; one of my favorite action sequences that I've ever seen.

The dilemma is how do you do a ‘fuck you movie studios’ movie for the studio? And do you intentionally make it bad so it doesn’t succeed? It’s such a confusing movie if you try to think of it from all these view points.

Not that the wachowskis aren’t capable of making a bad movie while trying to make a good movie…which makes it even more complicated.

Pretty much.

It's funny they mentioned Gremlins 2, because that and Resurrections are 2 examples of how to do this kind of "protest sequel" exactly right and exactly wrong.

Joe Dante remembered to still keep the thing fun and witty. The most on the nose sequel commentary was kept as very brief one-liners.

"The Watch" pooped out the most sophomoric directorial hissy fit I've ever seen. At times literally flipping off the audience.

You could have said "no". You could have let them give it to someone who gave a shit. I have zero respect for directors who pull this Funny Games horseshit and produce an unwatchable movie that's little more than the characters looking at the camera telling the audience how terrible they are for wanting to be entertained by a movie (or at least have an ounce of cleverness to the meta satire).

The only scene that had potential was the techbro dev team talking shop or the focus group woman, but like gmork said it's like it was written by a 14 year old. Robocop 2 did this shit better (and briefer) over 30 years ago.

I think Ressurections' self-awareness is getting more conversation than it really deserves. Doing a witty, self-deprecating deconstruction of legasequels was only ONE item on a vast list of ideas that went into this movie, others of which seem to directly oppose it.

For example, giving Neo and Trinity such a sentimentally-driven power fantasy in the third act doesn't square at all with the witty meta stuff from the first act. It'd be like if a standup comic spent their first ten minutes skewering observational comedy, then did some other stuff in the middle, then did an extended observational routine at the end -- and sucked at it.

Lana Wachowski's MO seems to have been, "Let's write and film everything we can think of and try to find the throughline in post." That's probably the same approach David Lynch used when filming Twin Peaks The Return, but David Lynch she ain't. Her sense of pure style seems to have degraded over time, not improved, and she seems much less committed to chopping away at The Matrix's legacy than Lynch was with Twin Peaks.

Whereas Lynch committed to the futility of recapturing past glory as a basic premise, Wachowski seems to believe that gentle course corrections were all that was needed to reignite The Matrix's legacy and sustain a new narrative. You can still do the cool action; you just don't need to work so gosh-darned hard at it. You can still do the anti-establishment power fantasy; you just need to make some minor tweaks to what the establishment looks like and who, exactly, is raging against it. You can still be cool in your late 50s; just have a character quip from time to time about how he "wasn't sure Neo still had his mojo."

I really wanted to like this movie. The first chunk had me as a self-loathing comment about endless franchises, the second chunk had me as an epilogue to the world of The Matrix, but the third chunk was so lazy and so earnest that it seemed to undercut everything else. In the end, it's not that meta or even that punk. It's just two people in their 50s discovering that love gives them the superpowers they need to beat up their therapist. As far as power fantasies go, it's kinda sad.

I need the independent investigators post-incident investigation report on this movie. All 500 pages of it.

OOooooo, any praise for Twin Peaks: The Return triggers me.

That was another instance of "You could have said 'no'" instead of agreeing to do a Twin Peaks sequel. Or even another Firewalk with Me where it was a major break from the show but still interesting to watch (and not a 5 minute long shovel spray painting). The Return was even less interesting than Inland Empire, and at least "Rabbits" didn't waste a dozen hours of your time.

The Return was on the same level as Last Jedi for lazy "I'll just rotely do the exact opposite of what fans expect or want. Expectations: subverted!"

You know what the perfect exercise in the futility of past show glory was? The X-Files revival episode "The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat". Darin Morgan was a master writer for the show, and returned in top form to inject passion and wit despite the story carrying the ultimate message "Why bother? Leave it alone". He wasn't conning Showtime to funnel cash to his friends, and he wasn't charging fans to get the middle finger.

Go watch "The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat" right now.

Agree to disagree, Nom. I found The Return engaging, funny, and endlessly quotable. But it's also very specific in its tastes. I don't think I have better taste for enjoying it. I think it clicks for a particular audience, is all.

I enjoyed your guys' takes on this. Can't disagree with any of it.

I cannot disagree with this.

This list isn't complete without Speed Racer and Chain Reaction.

Or the sex scene from Bound.