Dear god. Do you people see what's happening? THEY'RE MOVING UP THE FOOD CHAIN. It's only a matter of time before they begin their offensive on humanity.
Your body has so many parasites (including brain parasites, probably) in it right now. If you only knew you'd turn into an OCD maniac scrubbing yourself and drinking bleach.
This is better for waking you up in the morning than a slug of espresso and speed. AAAAAAAAAAUGH!!! Okay, creationists, give me a teleological argument about this fucky shit. C'mon. I dare you.