I propose that Talk Like A Pirate Day should be replaced by Sing Like R. Kelly day.

I know it is a really pat thing to say, but wholly shit does cocaine do some wonderful things.

I think that R Kelly and Brian Wilson need to hang out and explore the textures of sound while they make up songs about whatever is going on in the room.

Real Talk!

you called my mama's house and what? Girl, my mama ain't gotta screen no calls from meeee. Real talk!

I love how he did this entire thing with half his hair unrolled.

And then the dudes get into a fight at the end and oh my god i wish i could spend just one day as part of r. kelly's entourage. seriously.

No, Robert. I don't know what you mean.

TWO THINGS:

One: Dear R Kelly, you're famous. Going to a club alone is going to ruin your relationships, DUMBASS. I don't even do that now, and I'm not famous.

Two: You're an R&B singer, which means you're girlfriend's probably not a high quality person anyway. Get a new one.

Slowly transitioning from man to myth.

Men: Sing this when you're in the doghouse and hopefully your girlfriend's hysterical laughter will help her forget whatever you did

God. I love this guy.

BITCH I WISH YOU WOULD BURN MY MOTHERFUCKING CLOOOOTHES!

Also, I think the end of the video explains perfectly well why R. has to go to clubs, security guards.

He.. he KNOWS he's parodying himself, right? Right?!

And fuck you, thats how I wear my underpants.

"What they eat don't make us shit"

R. Kelly is so real that he doesn't even need to make things rhyme anymore.

when does he piss all over an underage girl?

this is the worst.... thing ever. song? fail...

major lulz for the staged fight though. OOOO TOUGH GUYS!!!

REAL TALK

In 20 years this guy is going to be doing Priceline.com commercials ala William Shatner.

Spoken word's future is secure.

In case you were wondering what profanity represents, now you know: profanity represents just how real shit gets.

Someone teach this man how to write a chorus and also that women are equal and deserving of respect and understanding

shit

Who is this Milton character

Holy shit this deserves ten stars.

"IS YOU TWEAKIN'?!"

This is exactly how I'm arguing with my girlfriend from now on. Real talk.

Five stars for using the words "TRIFLIN ASS".

Theres some real talk..

Is this a parody of Weird Al's song about going to a drive through for burgers, or vice versa?

Milton!

I really wanna know where his logic was going with "were there other guys there?" Damn, that triflin' bitch for interrupting him.

On his next album he is going to sing-talk the assembly instructions for a MALM dresser from IKEA.