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Comment count is 21
baleen - 2008-02-07

At 00:31, when the fuck noises start, I had to stop and replay it to make sure that my downstairs neighbor wasn't screwing her boyfriend again.

theSnake - 2008-02-07

This was awesome and made me sad at the same time. Within 5 years Contra will be whored out and made into a movie with all CGI effects. It will star Shia LaBeouf and Milla Jovovich, and will be directed by someone whose last project was a music video. The song Bodies by Drowning Pool will kick in every time there is a fight scene. Instead of a giant pulsating heart, the last boss will be a zombie with crazy CGI tentacles for arms played by Kenan Thompson. At the climax of the film he will tentacle grab James Marsden who was trying to hit his glowing red weak spot with a grenade. Milla will wire fu in slow motion through his tentacles and kick the grenade out of James Marsden's hand into the weak spot and save the day. The end credits roll, and the new single "Contra Woop" by Limp Bizkit fills the theatre. During the chorus Fred Durst repeats the Konami Code in monotone.

kthorjensen - 2008-02-07

5-starring that comment.

baleen - 2008-02-07

yeah that was pretty damn good.

Aubrey McFate - 2008-02-07


seriouslyuguys - 2008-02-07

I didn't know Uwe Boll directed music videos.

StanleyPain - 2008-02-07

Nah....as with most movies based on video games or comics or whatnot nowadays, the Contra film will be about something wholly other than the game with a plot that manages to somehow be more retarded and simplistic.

Monchiles Monchiles - 2008-02-07

I want final boss zombie with the tentacles to be played (or at least voiced) by a professional wrestler.

garcet71283 - 2008-02-07

If I could give 10 stars I would. 5 for this video and 5 for the comment

I would pay to see both.

Billy Buttsex - 2008-02-08

Almost a perfect comment, but you left Mario Van Peebles out.

Cleaner82 - 2009-05-10

For this.

Smellvin - 2008-02-07

-1 for neither of them using the spread gun.

Caminante Nocturno - 2008-02-07

That song really gets on my nerves these days.

Harveyjames - 2008-02-07

I like that with all the meticulous planning, computer simulations, and strategic missile and satellite defence systems that have gone into the preparation for a global nuclear war, the preparation for an alien invasion amounts to 'two circus strongmen with machine guns.'

Comatose2 - 2008-02-07

As it always has been. As it will always be.

Udderdude - 2008-02-07

Video game logic>Real life.

RandomFerret - 2008-02-07

This is the one movie every one of us wanted to see when we were kids.

Doctor Arcane - 2008-02-07

You know, I think "More human than human" might be refering to Nietzsche's Ubermench.

Blaise - 2008-02-07

Shorten it, edit out the different costumes, gain continuity.

keinsignal - 2008-02-10

try harder

yoyo1 - 2008-02-12

Most of these eighties videogame characters were actually designed after either stallone or schwarzenegger.

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