Are you implying this is somehow more effective than the time Donatello the Ninja Turtle told kids that drug dealers are dorks?

Drugs, drugs, drugs!
Which are good?
Which make you convert your bath tub into a community fecal trough two weeks after the toilet and sink both back up?
Drugs, drugs, drugs!
Ask your mom or ask your dad!

"you smoke crack, you don't get to shit where the zookeeper shit at."

Narrators:

"The Zookeeper has really kicked John Cena around tonight."
"... Like a habit!"
"What's happening now? Oh no.."
"He's going.. he's going for it!"
"YES! Zookeeper executes a perfect Pistol Whip, and Cena's down on the canvas!"
"What a fight. Be sure to tune in after these short commercial to see whether The 'Keeper can handle a 4-vs-1 handicap match against.. THE D.E.A. KREW!"

Please do.

shit on the wall. holy fucking christ. i'll bet that was a nice house once.

I can guarantee it was - look at the floors. That's hardwood. In all likelihood, that's a 50+ year old house in one of Atlanta's older neighborhoods that fell victim to white flight, etc. There are a lot of spots like that, especially on the west side of town out along Bankhead Highway.

Jenkem.

I'm pretty sure if you tell them they're gonna be on TV, they'll be more amenable. Who doesn't wanna be on TV?

(then again, maybe The Zookeeper really does want to prevent a future generation from becoming fucked up shit-on-the-wall crackheads.)

maybe the dude with the camera bought them some crack

What I can't figure is, just what is the Zookeeper's profession? Crack Dealer? Landlord? Gang member? They needed to show someone sucking his dick for crack to really sell it. He just wandered into crack house like he owned the place.

This is real. It's from a documentary called, "Crack Heads Gone Wild." A man, or multiple people, go into some ghetto in Atlanta and record interviews with the local riff-raff.

http://www.crackheadsgonewild.com/

And knowing is half the battle.

Avoiding crack and that house is the other half.

"And now it's time for Crackhouse Cleaning, with The Zookeeper."

"WHEN YOU SEE DA ZOOKEEPER, YOU GONNA SEE SOME HARDWOOD EVERYWHERE. IN MANY KITCHENS, THE LINOLEUM OR TILED FLOORING IS SO THAT IF YOU SPILL SOMETHIN', YOU JUST NEEDA WIPE IT UP.
WHEN YOU SEE DA ZOOKEEPER, YOU GONNA SHIT ON THE WALL. YOU AIN'T GONNA SHIT WHERE THE ZOOKEEPER SHIT. AND TRYING TO WIPE SHIT OFF A CARPET IS A BITCH."

Also, when Mr. Keeper refers to "a lot of animals, and predators, and prowlers", the dude sitting next to him is pretty much perfect.