That "douchebag" is one year away from retiring with a pension and he's ready to put it all on the line for the children. Since when did being a selfless hero make one a "douchebag?"

Other selfless heroes: The Professor one year away from retirement who won't teach that the earth goes around the sun, the Doctor who won't provide emergency treatment to menstruating women, the Police Officer who only stops people of a skin color darker than butterscotch.

Seriously, who ever thought or taught that its not a real marriage if you don't have kids? Are adopted kids actually now taught in schools that they aren't in real families?

No, seriously, that guy was one year from retiring with a pension, really for serious.

Cena_mark is the most dedicated troll ever.

Haha! "One year from retirement", I love that!

I hope Prop 8 fails so you can finally realize your dream of marrying John McCain.

for being one year from retirement AND a douchebag

You're forgetting that this is aimed at grown adults who think that "marriage isn't just about children" is some kind of Communist Historical Revisionism.

Out of the few I've seen, they're all terrible coming from both sides. Mormons breaking into lesbian homes, whatever the fuck point this was supposed to make.

It would be funnier if immediately after walking in and BAAAWWWing about how he can't teach gay marriage, she said "but you're a math teacher. Now get back to work"

Because seriously--when the fuck did they teach _marriage_ in school? I must have been skipping that day.

They did teach marriage in my high school. It was called "life management" class, and was basically about nothing but drugs and sex. And the teacher made it very clear that all monogamous relationships are marriages, and all marriages are straight.
I love abstinence-only programs.

You could just as a protest about legislating from the bench, which would put the ball back in the court of the electorate to create then vote in an amendment allowing gay marriage. This would have the added benefit of another round of ads that your gay grandchildren will find hilarious.

Thank GOD. I was really wondering who was on the phone.

Also, by GOD I of course meant Gay Jesus. So don't hurt me, gay protectors.

It was Gay Satan, of course.

He calls every day at this time to taunt them with his victory. Then he sings sings some Rodgers and Hammerstein.

"Hello, this is the faggot marriage police, do you have anything to report, collaborator 324? Do you have any anti-faggot thinkers there in your office, y'know, right now?"

It's Patrick, he bought life insurance!

KIDS ARE STUPID AND CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY TWO DUDES CAN'T MAKE A BABY AND I'M AFRAID TO TELL THEM

I'm going to recruit your kids so hard

Yeah, THAT'S why they'll never get work again