"I remember when they invented numbers. I thought that numbers were pretty great. Why didn't CBS spend some extra money and get me a watch with numbers on it?"
You know, I've been thinking. What's up with oatmeal? It's got oats in it, sure, but is it really a meal? I enjoy oatmeal, I just think we should call it something different, so it wouldn't confuse all of us who eat it. To all the oatmeal producers out there, try to come up with a better name for your product.
What is he even complaining about? The wide selection of watches on the market? Why don't we just nationalize the watch industry to keep this unbridled variety under control. I nominate Andy Rooney as the Secretary of Timepieces.
5 extra stars for the guy who always chuckles like "I can't believe that old bastard is still on TV" at the end.