Awfully good with your hands, Derek Dye.

Choke on a dick and die, Derek Dye.

When I was in middle school we had a surly black man tell us that eminem is a lying scumbag and that 1 in 4 of the girls in the audience were going to be raped.

fuck this mickey mouse bullshit.

I'm sorry, but juggling and a hat does not a clown make. I ain't seen shit for nose, shit for makeup, he's not speaking in gibberish, there's no physicality to what he's doing. If he's a clown he should own the space.

This guy is just a run-of-the-mill abstinence busker. Worse than that, because at least buskers are entertaining enough to get change from tourists.

The dream is very delicate, like this piece of tissue paper. Or like a teenager's hymen, ripped apart by a trobbing clown penis...

Also, never take any risks, kids!

These parents deserve the crack babies their children will spawn.

Abstinence only education, the only sex-ed virgins like Mr. Dye are capable of teaching.

Your continued existence in this life is a risk, kids! Better go kill yourself now! Hurry up, before you make another mistake!

His brothers had premarital sex, and it stole away their dream of wearing a red derby in a school gym talking to little kids about sex?

So his dream was to balance stuff on his chin and bullshit kids for a living (purportedly at tax payer expense?)

Okay.

This guy isn't advocating abstinence, he's advocating cowardice.