This is the best tie-tying instructional video I could find online - there are some hilariously bad ones with these goofy little kids that are POETV material in their own right, but I posted this one because it's pretty damn solid.

Of course, wearing a tie means you have to leave the wolf t-shirt in the closet, so I don't know why this is even on the internet to begin with.

I checked out the Windsor video. I've been doing it wrong for years.

Today I learned about tie autism:

Number Sequence Name Self-releasing
1. Lo Ri Co T Small knot No
2. Li Ro Li Co T Four-in-hand Yes
3. Lo Ri Lo Ri Co T Kelvin No
4. Lo Ci Ro Li Co T Nicky (self-releasing Pratt) Yes
5. Lo Ci Lo Ri Co T Pratt No
6. Li Ro Li Ro Li Co T Victoria Yes
7. Li Ro Ci Lo Ri Co T Half-Windsor No
8. Li Ro Ci Ro Li Co T Half-Windsor variant Yes
12. Lo Ri Lo Ci Ro Li Co T St Andrew Yes
18. Lo Ci Ro Ci Lo Ri Co T Plattsburgh No
23. Li Ro Li Co Ri Lo Ri Co T Cavendish No
31. Li Co Ri Lo Ci Ro Li Co T Windsor Yes
44. Lo Ri Lo Ri Co Li Ro Li Co T Grantchester Yes
54. Lo Ri Co Li Ro Ci Lo Ri Co T Hanover No

This is how I've been tying my tie since I was 12 and I've never known any other way. Does this make me cool, unsophisticated, or neither?

Should I feel ashamed that I've made it to 30 without having to know how to do this.

4 for the Dork-in-hand knotter.

music makes it feel like this narrator was Songsmithed

"Adjust the knot one last time, mutter a quavering prayer, 'Please God, let this be the day I get a job again,' then put on your jacket. When waiting for the interview, be sure to check the reception area for free snacks you can stuff into your pockets."

Lord bless you craven lunatics and your knot idolatry. Another notch in the belt for things to know that imply more knowledge than they actually should.

the music is what makes it. also, only cunts wear button-collars.