Begin mastrubating about The Great Athiest Purge of 201x .. NOW.

Christians are the only ones capable of forming emotional bonds with other human beings.

fuck this ad

That would have made a great movie trailer. I would love to see a movie about God hiring this kid off the street to go around shooting people who don't pay protection money to the church. "So I sees yous hasn't been renderin' unto God what is God's..."

That's an unexpected change from the usual, "If you're not Christian, you'll turn into this sociopathic amoral killer."

I matter to Sakura-chan.

what

To paraphrase Jesus,

Makes sense

I was expecting some sort of answers in a commercial for the Sega Genesis. What a twist.

Holy shit.

BELIEVE OR DIE MOTHERFUCKERS

His string bean arms barely cocked that fire-arm. Luckily, God was there to help him out.

Luckily, EVERYBODY matters to god, right? Right? Please don't shoot me.

I don't want to matter to God.

THAT MAKES NO SENSE

This clip cuts right before I jujitsu the shit out of that motherfucker. Then he's pinned down, crying that he can't feel his legs as I shout "Where's your jehova now? Where's your fucking jehova, bitch?"

That's how it really went down.

Honestly I was already gonna five-star it just from the loading image.

Oh man, do I really have to watch this? I can feel the evil just radiating off of it like plutonium going supercritical. I really don't want to kill my faith in humanity this morning.

yeah but he's only got six bullets

Whilst he's dealing with the recoil, hoof him in the nuts.

Free Gun!

Shoot the Christians!

You know that kid in the trailer park who told you he knows where his dad keeps his gun? You shouldn't have stolen his Pokemon cards.

After the rumor broke out that one of the girls who died in the Columbine shooting was killed for saying she believed in God, a few insane Christians began furiously masturbating at the thought of being a modern martyr.

To this day they have not stopped. I wish I could say that this video was alone in its shameless presentation of the god-'n-gunz fetish (albeit from a different angle this time), but there are at least a couple more just like this on poetv. I think "are you ready to die for your faith" was the title of another.

Holy crap, crazy people. Quit being so goddam crazy. I'm so sick of it. Go cook some dinner for yourself and calm the fuck down.

WHUT

who hired Larry Clark to direct Christian commercials?

The YouTube comments are predictably delicious:


Brophan1ty (1 week ago) Show Hide

This simple video is propaganda against Answers In Genesis and was not produced by AIG. This is the devil in sheeps clothing and I would halfto say that it is quite possible that the makers of this video could be subject to illegal misrepresentation for making it look as though Answers in Genesis actually made sutch a rediculious video and could be looking at searious jail time. This video is fals advertising on behalf of but not of AIG. Im going to look into the options of prosicution.

Brophan1ty (1 week ago) Show Hide

If God doesnt matter to you, Nobody matters to you. Your just sum animal with no purpose in life. ONWARD AND UPWARD YOU HEATHEN DOGS! What trash. God so loved you and the world that he gave his only begoten son to die for you in place of your sins which are deserving of death that you might live eternal in paradise but only if you love the laws of God and try your hardest to be obeadient to the laws that came from love that were made to protect you from eternal death and offer eternal life amen.

Thank you, Brophanity.

So God's going to send a spindly-arm kid to shoot me in the face? How loving and merciful of him!

He wouldn't have had the time to point the gun at me.