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Comment count is 61
dora's cough - 2009-05-22

Someone please, please, PLEASE provide a link to the original post.

Whitewater5 - 2009-05-22

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/great-goon-database/great-goon-bes t.php?page=5

Doctor Arcane - 2009-05-23


Gommorrah - 2009-05-23

you have to remove the space between pos and t

Gommorrah - 2009-05-23

i mean "bes" and "t"

atleykins - 2010-01-08


Keefu - 2009-05-22

holy shit

socialist_hentai - 2009-05-22

this is a joke right?

revdrew - 2009-05-22

No, that semi-nude lego man truly does think rape can be justified. It's horrible, I know.

Cleaner82 - 2009-05-22

You can tell he's put a lot of thought into it. A LOT of thought. Masturbation is what I'm implying, evil rape-themed masturbation.

baleen - 2009-05-23

I used to play with legos.
I mean. They told me that I was playing with them, but I felt like they were playing with me. :-(

Rafiki - 2009-05-22

*nerd-rage revenge rape fantasies*


thebaronsdoctor - 2009-05-22

Wow, so much crazy. I like the infinitely-repeating background loop.

Also: The only possible time I can think of in which rape is justified is if you were to rape someone who is currently in the process of raping someone and rape was the only way to stop said individual from blowing up the world. However I really don't think this would ever happen in real life, meaning rape is never justified.

thebaronsdoctor - 2009-05-22

Forgot my rating

phalsebob - 2009-05-23

I think that means we can rape you. I'm not a lawyer though.

Toenails - 2009-05-23

Instead of raping the rapist, could you just jump in and stop him?

I mean, there will always be enough time for raping him later...

thebaronsdoctor - 2009-05-23

Guys, that was a joke. I was trying to show how contrived this line of reasoning is.

Toenails - 2009-05-23

Well, you certainly trolled me with the second scenario, as that one is way to close for comfort with the "ticking time-bomb" line of reasoning that the torture apologetics use.

But yeah, don't worry. I know you are not actually positing these justifications as a serious point of discussion, it was just that your first scenario had some sort of catch-22 that made me picture an infinity-long man-train of rapists-raping-rapists.

MaybeAFatGuy - 2009-05-22

Scenario #5:

Terrorists are going to detonate a bomb at the Super Bowl if you don't rape the hot girl who never noticed you in high school.

This is a justifiable rape.

dr tits - 2009-05-22

"preferably tying them down so that multiple children could be administered"

he really loses grounds for justification with each example.....
not that any of them seem to hold any real logic.
but really, i guess i would rather have the human race die out completely
than have it turn into the secluded, inbred race that it would become
with such a limited genetic distribution...

TheDevilsDictionary - 2009-05-22

Don't knock it! I've read that the entire human population may have been down to around 1000 or some low number like that. We may be that secluded, inbred race.

dr tits - 2009-05-23

i mean, yes, we clearly didn't start off with billions of people in our population, but i'm talking more like genetic deformities and "founder effects" found in closed or "bottleneck" communities, like ... the amish. (dont get me wrong, i love the amish, but...)

my favorite sounding disorder is
"digital integer deficiency"

thebaronsdoctor - 2009-05-23

Let's put it this way: Would we really want to continue the human race if the only males left are genetic miscalculations like this guy?

kennydra - 2009-05-22


kamlem - 2009-05-22

There could be a guy called Justif Iable somewhere in the world. After all, Peretz Bernstein changed his name to Perry Farrel...

Dr Dim - 2009-05-22

"The mob, riled up, surrounds Dick and beats him to death, despite Dick's pleas. They leave, while Heather examines the corpse. Unbeknownst to her, a big black man was watching the entire ordeal, from the accusation to the beating.

"I saw what you did," says the black man, "and now you're gonna get what's coming to you". It would be that man's moral right to rape the living shit out of that worthless cunt.

Alternatively, suppose after the beating, Dick gets back up, but the hemmoraging in his brain leaves him only five minutes to live. Dick too would have the right to rape her within the remaining timeframe of his life. Since he was punished for a crime he didn't do, he might as well commit it."

The big black man and Dick's brain haemmorhage are worth five stars by themselves

Camonk - 2009-05-23

I love how internet rape-fan instantly goes to a big black man as the rapist. Perfect.

The next scenario is possibly even better. "Let's call her Sarah." Yeah man, I bet there's an attractive girl at your school named Sarah.

This is like my favorite video in weeks because I know this stuck-up bitch and raping the shit out of her would be a real wake-up call

Adham Nu'man - 2009-05-23

"How do you stop a group of big black men from raping a white chick?"

"Throw 'em a basketball!"


IrishWhiskey - 2009-05-22

Just to be clear, was that second scenario a confession to assisting in a rape?

"I hope you enjoyed this dissertation, and it generates some profound discussion."
Here's my contribution: You're a f*#!ing psycho.

Camonk - 2009-05-23

You don't seem the type to suddenly censor your swearing

Is everything okay at home

dr tits - 2009-05-23

just to be clear, it wasn't just an arbitrary rape assist,
but a justified, angry nerd-revenge rape assist.
so.... it was okay. right?

Bort - 2009-05-23

Guy's trolling. Clues: the out-of-the-blue inclusion of a black man, the "let's call her Sarah" to make it sound like personal experience, the final sentence. There are just too many bits that seem to be there just to get people agitated and not to make any particular point. Not that I'm complaining; the guy's a craftsman.

Erix - 2009-05-24

I don't know Bort, some people on the internet are genuinely crazy.

mashedtater - 2009-05-25

i dunno its a tossup.

Bort - 2009-06-02

Oh, I don't doubt there are genuine crazies out there. I just see places where it looks like the author said, "I haven't introduced any new reason to piss people off in a couple sentences; how about if I specify that the Justice Rapist is black?" So to me at least, it looks like it was crafted to offend.

Keefu - 2009-06-26

i want to believe

frau_eva - 2009-06-29

To me, the inclusion of it being a black man is more "This is my secret masturbation fodder" than race baiting.

DanVamme - 2009-05-22

I'm guessing this was posted from prison via proxy.

Caminante Nocturno - 2009-05-23

I don't think that any of those scenarios are likely.

8bitwintermute - 2009-05-23

Ferretball is the greatest, this one troll post has been going for literally YEARS

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2009-05-23

It's not often that I five star something based on the fact that the loader image alone frightens me to the point where I just can't watch.

Xenocide - 2009-05-23

I'm glad he found the time to sneak the "she dresses slutty so she deserves it" one in there.

godot - 2009-05-23

"multiple children could be administered"

phalsebob - 2009-05-23

Fucking nun slash lesbians... always hating the human race by the thousands.

Gommorrah - 2009-05-23

i mean bes and t

Nikon - 2009-05-23

Evil enough.

chumbucket - 2009-05-23

oh dear

allcaps - 2009-05-23



kingofthenothing - 2009-06-23

"You cannot beat them. Their incessant nagging. Their never ending supply of cats. Their Lifetime Channel brainwashing. And last, but not least, they have all been recalibrated to the same menstrual cycle! Their tampons will blot out their Vajayjays!!"

"Then I guess we'll rape 'em in the pooper."

Uulanbaatorbaby - 2009-05-23

Lego-womans silence and dead, accusing stare really says it all.

NoCode - 2009-05-27


Charon - 2009-05-29

Off the top of his head he came up with four scenarios. He's been thinking about this for a loooooooooong time.

Lauritz Melchior - 2009-05-31

Holy shit! How did I ever miss this?!

"1000 militant lesbians"

"total slut"

"I was the lookout."

This whole thing is incredible!

oswaldtheluckyrabbit - 2009-06-19

I don't like this early version of "Seen And Not Seen"

pathetique - 2009-08-31

"worst of all, she dresses like a total slut, but only lets popular guys fuck her"


pathetique - 2009-08-31

also i'm pretty sure that scenario three takes up more than 1%

Charles - 2009-09-03

What got me was the close up of his hollow, lifeless eyes when he mentions that he was the lookout. Like that's where the danger music should have begun

PurpleXVI - 2009-10-05

This is completely fucking bonkers. That's why I'm 5-starring it.

longwinded - 2009-10-06

either brilliant troll or grade AAA crazy, I don't care

Old_Zircon - 2012-05-22

I'm going with brilliant troll, but both are possible I suppose.

casualcollapse - 2019-07-14

Wow good find and a total of testament to why I love poe.. also this is messed up in 2019 probably even more so than it was back then because of the current social climate.

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