Udderdude - 2009-07-01
"I have no idea how a 0:22 episode will become a 2:00 movie."
I do. By making it suck.
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FABIO - 2009-07-01 The same way they made Lost an entire series.
...no wait, you were right the first time.
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Arnold Es Numero Uno  - 2009-07-01
5 stars for showing the exact spot in the Boston Public Library where I once fell asleep while studying, and woke up to find a bum eating my lunch.
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craptacular - 2009-07-01 that reminds me of that episode of Futurama's "The Scary Door" where the guy's glasses, eyes, and hands fall off. "Cursed by his own hubris."
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Sean Robinson - 2009-07-01
One way to stretch out the time is to give a character an unnatural drawl. That'll at least double the length.
Fuck it, I'll give Kelly a go on this.
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Nikon - 2009-07-01
Craptastic!
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Merzbau - 2009-07-01
I dunno, Frank Langella looks like he'll be amusingly menacing, and while Southland Tales was objectively crap, it was some of the most creative, entertaining crap I've seen in a long time. I'll give this a shot.
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TeenerTot - 2009-07-01
This was one of my favorite TZ episodes. Because it was a sort of subtle morality play. Without a bunch of over-the-top effects and "ooooooo creepy people" staring at the characters.
Five kiss-my-ass stars.
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Goofy Gorilla - 2009-07-01 The Twilight Zone episode was horrible and totally screwed up the plot. The husband dies and the wife asks the stranger why and he responds, "what makes you think you knew your husband?" There. I spoiled this terrible movie for you.
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Goofy Gorilla - 2009-07-02 Right. I was describing the real story, which is better than the TZ episode.
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Monchiles Monchiles - 2009-07-01
The Twilight Zone was the only television series to regularly creep me out. Not jumping-because-the-television-made-a-loud noise scared but actually scared to turn the t.v. off because the dull monochrome glow was the only thing staving off the encroaching darkness. I don't know what it was about the series that worked for me, but I know this goofy Hollywood movie will have none of that appeal.
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dueserpenti - 2009-07-01
Actually, you illiterate idiot box addicts, it was originally a Richard Matheson short story.
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StanleyPain - 2009-07-01
I thought this was an Outer Limits story originally.
But, wow, is this fucking up the story. The whole point in the original short story, as with most good horror stories, is the MYSTIQUE of the whole thing. The guy just comes and offers the box, there's no fucking background story or INTERNATIONAL CONSPIRACY or evil giggling children cliche shit. Jesus...
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StanleyPain - 2009-07-01 I'm also getting extremely tired of Hollywood's version of a "normal" family. "Normal" families are not composed of heavily made-over people living in a gigantic house in Whitey McPerfectville driving a giant Mercedes Benz SUV to their five-figure job. Certainly a story about people in financial desperation would be better served people who are, you know, in actual financial desperation not "WE HAVE TO MOVE FROM THE 3 STORY MANSION TO SOMETHING MORE CONSERVATIVE, LIKE 2 STORIES."
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Dr. Lobotomy - 2009-07-01
Turns out it's Man!
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Camonk - 2009-07-01
Cameron Diaz is not attractive. She looks like she could swallow a watermelon without it touching her teeth.
Also, she has never been and will never be in a good movie.
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Merzbau - 2009-07-01 What, not even Being John Malkovich?
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Camonk - 2009-10-06 Oh she was in that. I forgot. Okay, I retract that! She was in one good movie. Probably by accident.
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RomancingTrain - 2009-07-01
I lost it at the sinister Salvation Army Santa.
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Rovin - 2009-07-01
The hell is the Saw "revelation" scene music doing endcapping this shitheap of a trailer?
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craptacular - 2009-07-01 poor choice of music. but then, its movie trailer music. it always sucks.
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memedumpster - 2009-07-01
Thanks, those who make movies out of hate for humanity, for another job well done.
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Crackula - 2009-07-01
Look, I know there is a 90% chance it will suck, but I loved TZ enough to give it a chance.
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Michael Houser - 2009-07-23
Donnie Darko guy and M. Night Shyamalan are having a race to the bottom by way of feature length Twilight Zone episodes. Why are they doing this?
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