|themilkshark - 2009-07-15 |
My list of reasons why this video sucks balls:
1. Extremely high production value for a viral internet video. That leads me to believe someone though this shit was HELLA FUNNY, like they were sitting on top of Sam Kinison's secret comedy routine that he worked on with Richard Pryor... Instead you get dry as the desert humor that's so wink-wink-nudge-nudge that I have an urge to punch my screen, hoping the creator would feel it in his/her soul.
2. In order to laugh at this, you have to have a distaste for outdated technology (which of course would have never afforded us the tech we love today if it never paved the way). Sorry everyone but your iphones will be a punchline in a few years so get ready to pretend you've never had one lest you look like a buffoon who used what was destined to become outdated tech!
3. Is the "porn industry" mention supposed to elicit a reaction? Was this written by a 13 year old Stern fan?
4. So right when I thought they ran out of ideas... They did. Instead of ripping on old tech they decide to villainize some other outdated tech, DVD. Hmm, can't afford blu-ray yet so DVD is my bread and butter. Oh, turns out they have no jokes left. They're making random shit up, mostly due to the current generation of tweens' love for "random" because it means you're interesting. So DVD's are bad because they're shiny and they cut you in half. Wait, they are just shiny, the other shit was made up so they could put some humorous violence in, which I forgot to laugh at. Sorry, I forgot it was supposed to be funny.
5. In one of the millions of Starbuck's franchises across the country, an overweight douchebag is enjoying his day off by flirting with the unresponsive baristas by showing them this. I feel your pain, baristas.