I too felt the weight of disappointment on this, but the more I watched the more I discovered the bizarre uselessness of this. I found that fascinating.
Phil: "Hello, waiter. I... don't see it on the menu, but do you serve dick?"
Admiral Falafal: "No, my friend. This falafal stand. We serve falafal."
Phil: "My my my, what a tragedy for my mouth. I have at least room for 7 or 8 more dicks in here."
Admiral Falafal: "You go now!"
Ticket Clerk "Mike": "Seven fifty."
Phil: "Oh my, it appears I'm quite short. Do you accept looking at my many dicked mouth as payment?"
Ticket Clerk "Mike": "That's not our policy."
Phil Colins is not in this video, which is a crushing disappointment. No matter how ultra-douchey this guy is, he cannot match the douchieness of Phil Colins. Had this actually been Phil Colins performing these obscene acts the video would have went down in history and spawned a million viral memes that would have hopefully done major damage to Phil Colin's image and career, making the world a better place.