"...might do it again, probably not."

Sam is SO INTO IT

laura hughes could touch me and then maybe she would think it was worth it. I'm over 18 and stuff and I'm in pretty good shape I guess look I dunno I just think she's pretty. I doubt she even did anything anyways i mean all i'm saying is she has pretty eyes okay just lay off alright?

FUCK TIM AND ERIC THEY TRY TO HARD THIS ISNT FUNNY WHERES THE JOKE THERE IS NOT JOKE THIS ISNT FUNNY TIM AND ERIC SUCK AND EVERYONE AGREES WITH ME ONE STAR.

Oh, wait, this isn't Tim and Eric? Oh, this is hilarious!

(I'm so subtle)

I'm not here to plead my case, I'm legally required to show my face.

Hey! The guy who plays as Marc Burmholdt is one of the dudes from 5secondfilms! I didn't know he was a sex offender!

That sonafabitch in the orange jacket will be leaping at me in my nightmares...

I thought it said "Sex Offender Shuttle" and I thought maybe I was getting a new way to work besides the bus.

Even a recital of Sams' crime is evil enough to disrupt a videocamera.