VIDEOGAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember when all videogames were like this. In my head.
Those were fun times.

VIDEOGAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lapels to stop doing that. *shrug*

I'd give you guys stars if this wasn't my submission.

I'm pretty sure God is the first boss, but you fight him again in the boss parade before the final one.

Eat shit you fucking cunt.

MASH X TO RETORT

BLARGLARGHLARLGLRGLR

Also: this vaguely reminds me of how white dudes will take a bunch of disconnected Native American practices and call it a religion or a healing doctrine or spirituality or whatever, except this takes a bunch of retarded pseudo-Catholic imagery and calls it a plot.

Plus the gameplay is dog shit, dumbed the fuck down overly simplistic shit. On top of that the music makes me want to make out it with a revved up chainsaw.

also to those who think her body proportions look really fucking stupid and goofy as hell, if your wondering what she would look like sans the bizarre proportions check this out:

http://www.thezeonicfront.com/2009/10/i-dont-want-to-play-bayo netta.html

Bayonetta's anatomical freakishness is unprecedented in life or anime. I try to tell people but they don't listen!!! They just cross the street!

"Plus the gameplay is dog shit, dumbed the fuck down overly simplistic shit. On top of that the music makes me want to make out it with a revved up chainsaw."

There is no way you aren't weigh 320 pounds of manfat. No fucking way.

DON'T weigh. Fuck yoooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The gameplay of Bayonetta is a lot of fun, go back to mash the same move a hundred times in God of Gaiden Sigma or whatever you people consider good action games.

This lowers you all.

Poorwill: "There is no way you aren't weigh 320 pounds of manfat. No fucking way."

Actually I weigh 172lbs, I wasn't aware my distaste for a game is proportionate to my weight? if that is the case considering how you seem to pretty much hate everything, I'm gonna go and guess you weigh a metric ton? wow...it sure is fun to pull stuff out of my ass, now I know how you feel =D

Riskbreaker: I agree with you on the fact most people seem to really dig that god of war type shit, and oh is it shit. That said while I don't particularly like Bayonetta...wait hold on *stuffs face with Chocodiles and yak lard* ok where was i? oh yeah in any case while I don't like Bayonetta, within the same token I fucking loathe all the "God of Gaiden Sigma" type games as you so eloquently put it.

Shut up.

This is now lowering the entire human race. Thanks, argumentative nerds

I feel darty.

The real problem with the God of War games is not just that the gameplay gets tedious after a while, it's the long boss fights that kill any rush you could feel with the games. This seems to be a common trait with boss fights of the last and current console generation. Longer just doesn't mean better.

The real problem with them is that they are Todd McFarlane's Greek Mythology. I was fucking blown away when I saw people thought Bayonetta was actually serious. If you want a painfully self-serious macho angstfest that is basically Disturbed - the videogame, you go play God of War. Bayonetta is obviously over the top animu fetishist tripe, and it is completely aware of that and goofs on it all the time. I don't think some folks are aware of just how screwball this clip really is - the characters are basically giving Sonic's arch-nemesis Dr Robotnik a burial in the first scene.

Reading some of the reviews is like a deja vu when God Hand came out. "The writting is campy", then you go and read people praising Uncharted's story, and the irony seems to completely escape them.

Nathan Drake :barf: He is the red M & M with stubble.
Bayonetta :3 :3 :3

What the fuck is wrong with you guys?

What the fuck is wrong with you guys?

No.

She's kicking with bullets.

I have no idea what you're talking about. It's spelled correctly.

You cheated!

It's not the lack of realism that does it in, it's the sense that they thought they were making a serious game and failed utterly. They should have just strived to make it as big a comedy as possible, it could have really shined.

Whether the game exists or not isn't going to stop her tiny little head from creeping me out.

It's quite clear that the makers of this game were hardly going for an "ubber serious" gaming opera or something like that. They're having fun with the material, we are talking about the people behind Okami, Viewtful Joe and there's also part of the staff of God Hand. Was Okami a serious lecture in japanese folk legends? VJ an introspective look at the superheroe cliches? God Hand a Sergie Leone epic? The ones taking this way too seriously are you guys.

yeah i gotta go and agree, Bayonetta maybe a lot of things but serious ain't one of them.

If you don't realize this game has its tongue so far in its cheek it risks serious dental injury, there's no hope for you appreciating any form of satire.

Videogames are serious business in poetv.

Starring Kristana Loken as Bayonetta, Treat Williams as the guy who sounds like Joe Pesci, and the tortured, reanimated corpse of Raul Julia as the tombstone that almost crushes his balls.

OH MY FUCKING GOD.

I think you figured it out. My theory was it was made for birds with a human fetish.