Stick around for dragon twister!

Oh my god his hair...

*anime hand gesture*
HEYYAAAA!
*reval mullet*
Huuu!
*flash fupa*
Ha-shu-shhhaaa!
*adjusts sweatpants*


I believe that is a flawless victory.

This is a mass of sad cascading into total collapse until finally it's a singularity of sadness.

Jesus. No one's saying you have to get laid, but at least make it look like you give a shit.

regarding requested criticism:

Stick to one sword so you have a free hand to pull your pants up.

Awww, look at mommy's little ninja in his jammies.

Oh, honey, no.

Fanfic the Barbarian

Nothing can stop THE BLOB!!

Doesn't he know? Doesn't anyone know? Why won't anybody listen?

Swords will fucking cut you right open.

A little slice of heaven from Garden City, Michigan. I personally enjoyed the secret pony tail reveal at :38.

SWEATPANTS OF DESTINY.

Seriously, how does anybody make it this far in their life without figuring out how to behave like a competent human being? It's the details that really kill me here - the pale chubby build, the flowing greasy ponytail, the matching dragon sweatpants/sweatshirt combo, the obvious anime-inspired antics he's attempting, all of which come together in one gigantic culmination of fail when we discover he has not one but TWO GODDAMNED SWORDS.

A million stars for DRAGON TWISTER, as well as the countless shots of him pulling his sweatshirt down over his rolls of fat.

Rob Liefield had a son?

Button dick.

I cant watch six minutes of this. Also, someone get this kid a live blade so I can watch the hilarity.

This is what home schooled kids learn instead of math and science. My friends and I used to make swords out of newspaper and beat each other up with them when we were like 10 years old, but we grew out of it. I also used to pretend I was Robocop.

One of the transvestites from the last season of Sailor Moon moved to the mid west and got fat.

It was recently revealed to me that my sister's ex-husband used to take his crappy thrift store katana to the park and practice his moves.

I like to imagine that it was not unlike this, except with a black leather trench coat.

This guy needs to be in MUGEN. Right next to Big Al.

Oh man.

Sure, Dragon Twister and the (BURBLEBURR) Charge are pretty good; but for me the true apex of this video is that sound he makes around 4:41.

Star Wars Kid for the 2010s.

Mom and dad must have really debated indulging his whole pricey mail order sword thing.

But at least now he's outside getting exercising. Kinda.

Also, 4:25 - 4:38: Is is too much to ask that he get around everywhere just like this? Because seeing that coming down the sidewalk at me would make my whole day every time.

And he is looking forward to your criticism, too.

Even before I started the video, Dale going, "Sh-sh-SHAAA!" got stuck in my head.

oh god the hair

Dragon Twister is good, but for me the Full Charge did it. He went "Full... CHARGE!!!" and I can only think "Man boob.... JIGGLE!"

So how many kids who have swords use them as batons?

5:15 looks pretty fucking devastating. Also what he does with his hands when he doesn't have a fake sword in them is the most interesting to me. The little salute at the end, and the weird little 'swirling an invisible goblet of wine' thing he does at the beginning... What is he going for here? What will happen to him the day he realizes no real person in the world acts like?

Twirling, twirling, sword uppercuts, ballet, twirling...

and then 2:51, the big fat Napoleon Dynamite just says "fuck it" and goes for a home run.

Also, these are literally straight from soul calibur. I saw Cervantes, raphael, and i think hayato from marvel vs capcom 2 (that uppercut thing)

Where are the parents?

Why aren't they stopping this?

There better be a version of this with Ghost Dog music in it on youtube...

black is slimming

Who is filming this?

Oh, and don't skip the youtube comments, many of which fail to differentiate reality from MMORPGs.

DRAGON TWISTER!


CROSS...SLASH!

I see a bit too much crotch bulge from Pillsbury Slow Boy for comfort.

I'd like to think that it's a dance belt.

Needs FAT MAN WITH KATANA tag

TAE KWON DOUGH

This has been mentioned before but, seriously, look at that ponytail. Just look at it, jesus fucking christ.

Ponytail
Shoryuken
His little waddle/gallop to fetch the second katana
Using the katanas as a walker at the end

Try watching this on mute to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHbvk5L4duU

ok it took me three days to get through all of this.

now it is favorited.

Needs "Heavy Breathing" tag.

The Daniel Songer of swordsmanship.

I like how he mimes sheathing his sword
I like how he waddles over to get his extra sword
I like everything about this

this kid needs a big brother to prevent this sort of thing from happening

If you are feeling impatient skip to 5:00 for the money shot. Pure gold.

What a glorious mullet.

I had to watch this video from the beginning once I noticed his crotch.

Holy crap, it's Wendell from Frisky Dingo

This really is one of those golden finds. The rising action is so great it's almost hard to believe it's not scripted. Initially just a mildly embarassing display, then you get the first sweats-adjustment, then he stops even pretending not to be consciously aping videogames and cartoons by shouting out the names of his 'moves', and then finally it all pays off with "I look forward to some good criticism". Absolutely amazing.

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Favorite bits:
The Louisville Slugger move.
His making a "SSHHK" noise as he mimes take a sword out of its sheath
His almost falling over during the Matrix move.
The hypnotic jiggling of his fat.
And, of course, the pony tail. Just how many times has that thing been yanked?

Easiest boss battle ever.

Dra...gon...TWISTAH!

this reminds me of a friend of mine who "studied" "kung fu" for a number of years. He used to like to practice in front of people, and the lulziest part of the whole thing was you could tell it was just a dance to him. He was so tubby and out of shape that none of the motions had any power behind them at all... and he was so lazy that all the movements sort of melted together in a fuzzy, indistinct sort of gyrating around.

Then again I know nothing about kung fu.

Boy could join the Cold Steel Demo Team.

Alternate dimension Chris-Chan.

He's going to be disappointed when he realizes the only thing you need to kill a prostitute is a hammer.

Well, at least he's getting some exercise.

As a former fatty, I might be able to shed a little bit of light on this. Some people when they're super fat literally don't know how fat they are. Like the Richard Jeni joke, they think the are "just a few sit-ups away from major stud-dom."

He'll teach your boyfriend some "sword" skills. ;)