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Comment count is 66
Xero - 2010-06-07

Wow, I still haven't been able to sit through an entire Chris-chan video yet.

RocketBlender - 2010-06-07

It's sad, really. I can study for hours on end, and sit through the sappiest, disneyist movies without pause, but I've never made it an entire Chris-chan video without multiple breaks or quitting altogether.

Xero - 2010-06-07

That's not sad. It's almost a mark of pride for me. Even after all the shit the internet has shown me.


I still can't sit through one of his videos.

Caminante Nocturno - 2010-06-08

Xero's link is NSFW, on the off chance you don't know that just by the address.

zerobackup - 2010-06-10

Yeah I made it through the :01 of throat-clearing and gave up.

FatFatuousNation - 2010-06-07

Recap: Chris-chan went out drinking, decided to take photos of his nemesis for use as a dart board, drove to nemesis' business, creepily took pictures through the window, got spotted, slammed into some guy (twice?) trying to escape, got apprehended by police, got accused of child pornography by some woman, ranted to the police about internet trolls, somehow got released, and went home to post a video about it.

This has gone beyond amusing/disturbing internet antics. This guy is scarily fucked up, and he might very well end up in prison.

Nikon - 2010-06-07

"Might" end up in prison? That's being pretty generous, FFN.
It's only a matter of time.

dead_cat - 2010-06-07

If nothing else, he might end up being forced to go see, regularly, somebody who specializes in helping crazy people not be so crazy. I am sad that he hit some people, but if this means Chris's situation has been brought to the attention of the authorities, and he is forced to get help, then maybe the accident will have been a good thing. For Chris-chan, I mean, not for the poor fucker he smashed into.

Rudy - 2010-06-07

This, of course, after posting a video saying he's leaving the internet forever.


Nikon - 2010-06-07

His "Final" episodes only mean, as with Friday the 13th, that we have but to wait for A New Beginning.

cognitivedissonance - 2010-06-07

When he DOES end up in prison, will we send him a collective care package? Will he finally find his Pickle Man?

Monkey Napoleon - 2010-06-07

It's a toss up, really. Prison, or getting his ass beat to death by some redneck over a stalking disagreement.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-06-08

I called it last year that he will be institutionalized by the end of 2010. Also thanks to FFN so that I don't have to actually watch this.

pastorofmuppets - 2010-06-09

You want to, though.

egglab - 2010-06-07

i wish i could say this as creepy as chris-chan will ever get, but i know he'll just prove me wrong yet again.

Frank Rizzo - 2010-06-07

pregnant pause?

Toenails - 2010-06-07

Oh my.

Loving that pregnant pause after telling the internet that he only pets his cats on the heads and backs.

Plus ghost stars for the near crying around the seven minute mark when he complains of people accusing him of being gay through photoshop.

Frank Rizzo - 2010-06-07

PREGNANT PAUSE!!?!??!?!?!?!???

Toenails - 2010-06-07


Do a little browsing around the site, and if you are lucky, you'll be directed to a site that sends out eCards for women who had gotten an abortion.

Squeamish - 2010-06-07

This man is a ticking time bomb of disturbing behavior.

Why haven't his parents institutionalized him yet?

Nikon - 2010-06-07

They moved to prevent his elementary school from placing him in an institution. Clearly, it was best for him to be mainstreamed.

dead_cat - 2010-06-07

They insisted that Chris didn't need the help of people trained to work with kids like him. And their pastor told Chris that all he needed to be normal was Jesus.

In at least one of his older videos, Chris talks about how mental health professionals are terrible and fakes, or something like that. He won't be seeking help voluntarily.

Squeamish - 2010-06-08

Gotta love mainstream America.

dododge - 2010-06-13

I take it you have not seen his parents.

Chris once did a video tour of his home which made it clear that, among other things, they're hospital-grade hoarders. That led to another famous CWC video where his 80+-year-old father comes in and berates him on camera to "get all that stuff off 'a there" before the health department sees it and condemns the house.


Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2010-06-07

He has a drivers license? Seriously?

Nikon - 2010-06-07

They've got it up on the Cwcki if you must see it (and yes, he WORE THE MEDALLION for the photo on his license.)

RocketBlender - 2010-06-07

What the fuck is wrong with the state he's living in? They give him welfare, a licence, and a handicapped parking spot? He doesn't deserve 2 of those things, and it's pretty damn easy to argue against all 3 if you look at his lifestyle for roughly a quarter of a video of his.

cognitivedissonance - 2010-06-07

Those Southern states are usually pretty desperate to give welfare to white people, to prove we live in a "post-racial" world.

klingerbgoode - 2010-06-08

also his licence plate reads SON-CHU!

Nikon - 2010-06-09

His license plate reads Sonichu, but the car is (in his comic) an Autobot named Son-Chu.

Evilhead - 2010-06-07

I don't know how to rate this. Yes, as far as trolling goes, they have succeeded in totally breaking an already broken person. But this is the first time I've really felt sorry for the guy. Yes, he invites it upon himself and he had some issues, but it really a pretty sickening form of entertainment. 5 stars.

MaulLove - 2010-06-07

You're right in that the losers who have trolled him for years are dicks, but I don't think they had much to do with this, despite him blaming them.

He got kicked out of that game place for harassing kids playing Pokemon. No troll help there. He went back to stalk the owner with no help from trolls. This incident was all Chris as far as I can see.

Quad9Damage - 2010-06-07

Why is someone like Chris-chan driving?

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2010-06-07

To weed out the old, infirm, and those with poor reflexes.

K. Brass - 2010-06-07

"Any naked pictures of me on the Internet were either tricked from me, by the trolls, or they deceived me or I was blackmailed.

And there were a number of blackmailings."

Hay Belly - 2010-06-07

It's just so wonderful you think it can't get any more wonderful but then it goes to plaid.

NewHeavenSalesman - 2010-06-07

It's too bad Chris-chan's disability check isn't enough to retain an attorney, because good lord was this video a baaaad idea.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-06-08

Bad, or best. Depends on who you are...

chumbucket - 2010-06-07

somehow I imagine Chris driving a black econoline with tinted windows
I think it was the "I encourage the talking to me in person" that gave me that impression.
Oh and "puts glasses on" moment

Nikon - 2010-06-07

Nah, it's a blue Ford Escort.

HarrietTubmanPI - 2010-06-07

So in other words 'at top speed' is more than likely 35mph.

pastorofmuppets - 2010-06-07

Oh god, this is the first I've heard of that vanity plate. Can we petition the government to stop sending him money?

dead_cat - 2010-06-07

Oh god, it's like some kind of evil version of my old car. At least poor old Shitwagon died a dignified death - instead of being covered in stickers and driven around town by a deranged creep until it hit a pedestrian at 7 mph and was utterly totalled.

And why the fuck is this guy able to get a license AT ALL?

Shoebox Joe - 2010-06-07

Wait, isn't taking a picture of someone's licens

HAHAHAHAHA! Nevermind, forget I said anything

Nikon - 2010-06-07

@shoebox I didn't take that shot. Chris-chan did, and he uploaded it to the net. I just found it and passed the savings on to you.

pastorofmuppets - 2010-06-07

My stars are split between the image of Chris explaining CWCipedia drama to the police, and the obligatory Asperchu issue dealing with this.

Mike Tyson?! - 2010-06-07

AFAIK he doesn't really even do the comics any more.

Nikon - 2010-06-07

It's a shame he stopped, but it must be maddening to try to think of ways to make Chris look even more ridiculous than he already is.

pastorofmuppets - 2010-06-07

Are we just pretending he stopped so that Chris doesn't run him over?

Inspiring Asperchu is far and away the best thing that Chris has ever done. The stuff with "Ian" knocking over the twin towers (inspired by a recent revenge fantasy issue of Sonichu, which was in turn inspired by old Asperchu stuff like Rosechu having a pickle) and Sonichu finding out his origin, which I won't spoil, is hilarious.

urbanelf - 2010-06-07

8:15 He just wants to go back to a normal life.

RomancingTrain - 2010-06-07

"take a picture of him and nobody else"
It's cool to take pictures of people without their permission as long as you really, really hate them.

victorm - 2010-06-07


memedumpster - 2010-06-07

This is like catching a still image of the shitstorm right before it truly detonates all over the environment. Someone should inform Fox News of this liberal outrage.

thebaronsdoctor - 2010-06-07

This man's entire life is like a trainwreck: I'm appalled, yet I can't look away.

Also: Notice the Marge Simpson pin-up on his bulletin board.

boner - 2010-06-07

We're way past "train wreck", this guy's life is an oil spill.

Squeamish - 2010-06-13

A Chernobyl.

He radiates deadly sad.

nemeses9 - 2010-06-07

Oh look, he's got the Marge Simpson Playboy pinup added to his wall.

Riskbreaker - 2010-06-07

This is the reason trolling Chris is good for him, and for others. It prevents Chris from going to the real world and doing this kind of shit.

dead_cat - 2010-06-08

At the same time, it feeds into Chris's delusions about there being some secret cabal of people who have operatives everywhere, and exist for no other reason than to continually cockblock and harass his ass wherever he goes.

Riskbreaker - 2010-06-08

Chris always blames everyone else for his mistakes. Before the internet it was Mary Lee Walsh and the jerkops, now it's the trolls, Michael Snyder, and even his old school.

Testicles of Doom - 2010-06-08

I actually interact with Mike 3 to 4 times a week, as I work right next to his store.

He's certainly no saint, but there's no way he jumped on anyone's hood and slid across the windshield.

dead_cat - 2010-06-09

If you get a chance, could you ask Mike for his side of the story? I know Chris is lying like a soiled rug, but it'd still be very interesting to have a more level-headed account of what actually took place.

Nikon - 2010-06-09

I would also like to hear what happened from Mike.

Testicles of Doom - 2010-06-09

I haven't seen him since early last week, so maybe it's all true and Chris killed him and stuffed him in his hatchback.

I'm not exactly friends with him, but if I see him I'll ask him about his alleged stuntwork.

dead_cat - 2010-06-30

Any word from Mike yet?

Nikon - 2010-06-09

I hope that Mike can get a restraining order against Chris-chan.

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