5 stars specifically for the description :)

"Jesus spoke to his disciples of the everlasting covenant, the promise sealed in the blood and sacrifice of the savior. The Lord sat and broke bread, even knowing that one of them would betray him. Each of his disciples came to him, and they were exceeding sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, Lord, is it I?

And Jesus said, I have used my grace and wisdom to deduce that it is in fact Judas Iscariot who did betray me. And Judas said, but I have an alibi, O Lord. And the Lord responded that he had analyzed the tape of Judas at the nightclub and found that the reflection of the clock in the bar mirror did not match the time-stamp. And Judas sneered as he mounted his motorcycle, proclaiming as he drove away, thou will have to catch me first so called son of God. But Jesus called upon his friend, Bumblebee the Transformer. And there was much smoke from the spinning of wheels. And as Judas was chased, they drove over many ramps, and crashed many wooden stalls selling dates and figs. The Lord saw the Romans preparing crosses with which to crucify prisoners, and so he commanded unto Bumblebee to swing around. And so Jesus did grab a cross through the window, using it as a jousting javelin. Seeing that he had run out of space, Judas turned around to face the Lord, pulling out his Sith lightsaber and spake Say hello to your father for me. But Jesus did use his cross to knock Judas from his cycle and as he put on his Rayban sunglasses did announce, this is your blood, the blood of the everlasting ass-kicking.

And from this story, we learn why it is that America is the only real Christian nation. Amen"

After about a minute just skip to 3/4 through it. He really rambles.

Stars for the fact that this was the War of 1812, and there were no longer "colonies"... but hey, let's forget about the Revolution, right?
Stars for tards.

The heavily moderated comments are beautiful. Even the thumbs up/down are manipulated.

Flagpole held up by piles and piles of dead bodies? I demand this be taught to kindergartners across the nation.

Dominionist bullshit. Five for evil and evil lies, though.

Arlington National Cemetery is apparently the only graphic suited to depict this.

It's not actually called "The National Anthem"

Whoever thought setting a crappy poem to an old drinking song that no one ever sounds good singing would end like this? D: