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Comment count is 44
spikestoyiu - 2011-07-21

So this time he has Morgellons?

StanleyPain - 2011-07-21

Nice Mirror's Edge rip-off portion there.

Otherwise, this looks boring and unremarkable and pointless.

Toenails - 2011-07-21

Peter Parkour

IrishWhiskey - 2011-07-21

You can't parkour like a person, then leap 50 feet and fly through the air. It makes everything that came before pointless. It's like Superman doing BMX tricks for a while before deciding to take off.

Caminante Nocturno - 2011-07-21

5 stars for Toenails. I'm not even going to watch the trailer.

Xenocide - 2011-07-21

Athletic Man! Athletic Man! Does whatever a reasonably fit person can!

That whole sequence was awkward, gimmicky, and made my head hurt. They really did rip off Mirror's Edge.

StanleyPain - 2011-07-21

I think most people would have been less offended if the CGI didn't look like ass.

IrishWhiskey - 2011-07-21

It's like no one knows how to tell a superhero story that isn't an origin for the hero or a villain. In fact the closest I can think to a self-contained story is X-2, which was eight years ago.

This was a franchise with a unique opportunity to grow and move in a new direction, after letting someone else do the grunt-work of introducing the backstory. And they completely blew it.

Xenocide - 2011-07-21

From the looks of this trailer, we might have to sit through a third or more of this movie's runtime before we get to the radioactive spider. The first Spidey film takes half an hour to get there, and it starts a day before he gets his powers. This one starts when he's EIGHT.

Toenails - 2011-07-21

I actually hope that the "Twilight" angle between Peter and Gwen(?) that the trailer is showing is the bulk of the movie.

The sheer awfulness of the story + line delivery akin to a CW series + the new fanbase this porn-for-women will pick up + the sheer butthurt of people that don't want to see their Spider-Man shoe-gazing = A shit sandwich Mr. Toenails can really sink his teeth into.

Jet Bin Fever - 2011-07-21

Irish, I think it's because they assume the mindless masses would be saying, "Whay duz hee have them thur pow'rs? Thay di'n't ev'n show haow he got 'em! BUUULLSHITTT!"

StanleyPain - 2011-07-22

You know what was a great comic movie? Blade. They spent all of 2-3 minutes on his origin. "DUDE'S MOM GOT BIT BY A VAMPIRE SO NOW HE'S SORTA ONE. THE END" They didn't bother with being accurate to the comic at all, really..they just decided to make a fun vampire movie.

zerobackup - 2011-07-22

I totally agree, as fucking boring as it was in every other way, at least Superman Returns didn't make us watch him fucking crash into Smallville as a baby and grow up lifting tractors and shit.

takewithfood - 2011-07-21

For the people who thought that emo Peter Parker was the high point of the previous trilogy.

bac - 2011-07-22

hahahahahahahaah! I think I just woke up a roomate.

Bort - 2011-07-21

I want a Spider-Man movie with "Jersey Shore" sensibilities.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2011-07-21

Well, at least it will be better than the broadway show...


riedquat - 2011-07-21

well this looks shit

HotwaxNinjaPanther - 2011-07-21

My gripe is always going to be that stupid costume. I know Peter Parker was supposedly known to be quite handy with a sewing machine to have made his own costume... but they're really pushing it with this one. There's no way that a highschool kid, no matter how ocd, is going to come up with a latex bodysuit with that level of detail on their own. He'd have to have a lifetime of design experience under his belt and a year of full-time development into the suit to pull it off.

Besides, it looks like a melted basketball.

Jet Bin Fever - 2011-07-21

FUCK THIS. Let it die already! It's done to fucking death!!!

Riskbreaker - 2011-07-21

No thanks bro.

Xenocide - 2011-07-21

Oh, good his parents are in this one. Here are some AMAZING FACTS about Peter Parker's parents:

* No one has ever cared about Peter Parker's parents.

* Not even Peter Parker. He considers Ben and May his true parents. He is right to do so.

* In the comics, it turned out Peter's parents had to leave because they were SECRET AGENTS. This was an actual thing a professional writer came up with. Well, a comic book writer.

* Then they were given their own series of spy adventures which took place when Peter was a little kid. They were written as a really embarrassing rip-off of John Steed and Emma Peel.

* One time they met Wolverine.

* Then they both died!

* Peter was like six years old when this happened. I'm not sure anyone even told him.

* So in conclusion: This movie will not have Bonesaw in it.

Toenails - 2011-07-21

I'd give you stars if I had any.

But all you really needed were the first and last facts.

IrishWhiskey - 2011-07-21

That was one of the things I was curious about. The other is why they got an actress that looks like Mary-Jane to play the part of Mary-Jane, but then swapped her hair color and name so that she's easily confused with the love interest from the last Spiderman movie, the one we're supposed to forget.

Cena_mark - 2011-07-21

I'll give him mine. RIP Bonesaw McGraw.

fatatty - 2011-07-22

It is weird that they hire a blonde to play the red head and a red head to play the blonde.

At least they got an attractive girl to play the female love interest who does nothing in the story but give Peter boners and get captured by the bad guy.

sosage - 2011-07-22

No Randy Savage Bonesaw? This movie is auto-fucked out of the gate.

SolRo - 2011-07-21

So someone thought the batman reboot was awesome, but thought what made it good was Bale's moody, dull batman?

Born in the RSR - 2011-07-21

Well at least he has proper web-shooters.

jreid - 2011-07-21

What amazes me is the CG actually looks *worse* than the previous trilogy.

Cena_mark - 2011-07-21

I'm sure they'll depend on it more than ever. No more creative convincing special effects, just CG, CG, CG....

fatatty - 2011-07-22

Actually I heard they are trying to use as little CG as possible. They are having actual dudes swing around on ropes as much as they can.

Which of course will probably look worse than CG.

James Woods - 2011-07-21

Man, this is going to suck. So disappointing.

themilkshark - 2011-07-21

Still looks like the old movies, in fact it looks like they're just in a different part of the lab from the original movie. When you borrow everything that worked about the original trilogy, it just makes you wish you were watching those instead. Also, I'm fucking sick of superhero origin movies.

Dread Pirate Roberts - 2011-07-21

I'm ready to give this movie a chance. The first three were interesting, but moody, overly-drawn out, and not nearly enough action. I'm thinking that with the "hulk" remake the did a few years ago, this one might have a chance to fix the wrongs that the first trilogy made. Not saying it's going to, but it has the chance. The second hulk movie was actually not that bad, compared to the first one.

Toenails - 2011-07-21

You know, I never saw anything wrong with the first Hulk movie. I would enjoy it if someone told me (patiently and lovingly) what exactly was wrong with it.

Also, I never saw the reboot with I'm Jack's Green Nipples. So, maybe that's why I'm missing out.

HotwaxNinjaPanther - 2011-07-22

The Hulk sucked because he killed the puppies.

kingarthur - 2011-07-21

Manchildren movies are for manchildren.

SolRo - 2011-07-22

And you like Frisky Dingo, a cartoon for manchildren.

You're trying too hard to get people you don't know to think you're grown up.

Meatsack Jones - 2011-07-22


TeenerTot - 2011-07-22

Remember when Hollywood would respectfully wait a few decades before the remake?

dairyqueenlatifah - 2011-07-23

Why wait ten years when you can reboot a franchise in two years and clean up at the box office?

Big Muddy - 2011-08-05

9 years ago since the debut of the first movie and 4 years since the third one. Spiderman ain't no Batman that's for damn sure.

Hammer Falls - 2011-12-05

It'll be going up against The Avengers and Dark Knight 3 for the summer. Methinks Sony's rights to Spider-Man will be reverting back to Marvel Studios...

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