Unbelievable that this man with greasy hair, patchwork facial hair, and a "keg security" shirt would go on at length about the importance of presentation and pre-conceived notions.

That's better. The thing is actually what it claims, and predictably it is Terrible. But real Evil is more subtle still; like the time my brothers wife told me that her bakery's biggest seller was their American Cheese Pizza. Simple, understated, and yet an undeniable sign of the Apocalypse.

"I came to this with an open mind, but" is like the foodie version of "I'm not racist, but"

Not that I'm defending this abortion of a calorie bomb in any way, of course, but I mean there's nothing wrong with being prejudiced against shitty food when you are ostensibly a food critic.

I ate an entire Orea pizza by myself. Definitely one of my crowning achievements.