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Desc:Possibly the greatest lawyer ad of all time?
Category:Crime, Advertisements
Tags:Superbowl, lawyer, sledgehammer, attorney, jamie casino
Submitted:baleen
Date:02/03/14
Views:1031
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Comment count is 18
Oscar Wildcat
Did you know his daddy was a mill worker?
Merzbau
this summer

there is only one law

CASINO'S LAW
Cena_mark
I think this guy has a slight issue with vanity and ego.
blue vein steel
maybe just a little

RocketBlender
This should have been the halftime show, it was easily the best part of the entire superbowl.
infinite zest
You probably had to live in the Milwaukee or Chicagoland area to see any of David ("One Call That's All!") Gruber's commercials, but I'm guessing/hoping he's got something planned.
Scrimmjob
I'm a Hupy man myself

infinite zest
Haha that guy. Back in the day I worked at the Oriental and had nothing to do but kill time indoors before work and got kind of addicted to Maury, Jerry etc. and his commercial would come on constantly (even more than Gruber's I think) and I got to feel like I knew him like a fan of an celebrity "knows" the celebrity. After work one night I was drinking at the Landmark and there he was! It was like meeting Lawyer-Loch Ness Monster or something

FABIO
In a world, ruled by crime and corruption, where innocence is sold and the law is another commodity to be bought, justice takes a backseat to profit.

This summer, attorney Jamie Casino is calling shotgun.

*cha chunk*
FABIO
BACKROOM

Crooked cop: "So we have a deal?"

Crime boss: "Who's to say your boys found a hundred grand at the next bust and not two?"

Bottles clink. The crime takes a cigar puff before his swig of whiskey. Suddenly a sledgehammer flies out of the darkness, shattering the whiskey bottle, driving the neck down the boss' throat before the cigar ignites his head into an inferno.

The hammer shatters the legs out from the other man's chair, sending him to the floor. The flaming sledgehammer presses against his neck, sizzling flesh.

Crooked cop: "Who are you? You want money? I've got money!"

The hammer swings up.

Jamie Casino: "Let's call this one pro bono."

*SQUASH*

KINGPIN'S LOFT

Kingpin: "I want him gone! I want his license revoked! I want him disbarred! I want him DEAD!"

STREETS

Jamie law guns down goons with his shotgun, runs out of ammo, ducks behind a corner.

The goons round the corner to face Jamie manning a mounted M60. He opens up, belts of ammo being fed in from his designer briefcases full of bullets and papers. Slow motion white briefs fly around the carnage. The goons are falling, half from the bullets, half from slipping on the blood and gore of the bodies.


CASINO'S LAW

Don't gamble with justice.

Binro the Heretic
I...um...I...uh...

Huh?
Cena_mark
I'll some it up for you. Scumbag defense lawyer has a spiritual awakening and becomes a scumbag ambulance chasing lawyer. But he loves Christ now so... yeah.

dementomstie
How much does it cost to have a Flame Enchantment placed on a Sledgehammer?
RocketBlender
Depends on how much it's been enchanted already. It at least needs to be a +1, so we're looking at a minimum of about k, a lot more if there's already other enchantments.

Bhiu
You guys win the internets for the night.

Mister Yuck
I have a huge boner.
infinite zest
Pro Boner Publico

infinite zest
I'm really hoping this was like some sort of fake commercial for the "Better Call Saul" show, because this guy kind of committed career suicide. He mentions being corrupt at one point, and then shows redemption through anger including, but not limited to, smashing a fucking gravestone with a hammer that's on fire.

It's kind of like a movie about a rapist turned superhero who used to rape but now stops rape, but still talks about his rapey origins before he beats the shit out of rapist.
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